In this life there are little boy bullies in big men bodies.
Mean and cruel.
They hurt their families and justify their actions. They let their anger rip and then they say sorry.
And the wife stands by her man.
Believing God wants her to.
Believing he will change.
Abusive, angry men, unless they truly surrender their hurting, hardened hearts to Jesus which rarely happens, never change.
They keep on hurting those weaker and smaller than they are. They take out their own inner pain on defenseless women and children rendering blows that break spirits.
And blows that can kill.
Maybe when they were little their daddy or step-daddy beat up on them, or cursed at them heinously, or told them lies about themselves that cut tender spirits turning them savage. Or maybe their daddy sexually abused them. And the hate and anger in their heart comes out all lethal and loveless.
And that little boy broken who grew up to be a bully has hurts that no doubt run a mile wide. But his sins run wider. Yet he runs away from the only One who could ever heal him.
And everything in life is a choice.
We choose to love.
We choose to hate.
We choose to break cycles of violence.
We choose to perpetuate cycles of violence.
And the wickedness continues to the next generation and the next for those abused often become abusers themselves. Or they marry abusers.
Angry men who had issues with their own fathers, or mothers, are allowed to hurt children and teenagers because they can.
The women that they married are as broken inside as they are. As needy for someone to love them as the next broken heart. And in her neediness, fear, ignorance, and in her choice…she stays.
And stands by as her husband physically harms her son or daughter. Making her guilty, too.
And those precious babies that grew in her womb and were fed at her breast, the ones she says she loves with all her heart forever, are abandoned to the monster living in the house.
Year after year. Decade upon decade. Marking anniversaries that are a sham overshadowed by anger, violence and unrepentant sin. And she prays and quotes scripture, and screams and cries and threatens. One day she hates him. The next day she tells herself and anyone who will listen that he is the best husband and dad in the world. And the dysfunctional, co-dependent cycle continues.
Even abusers can sometimes do, say or buy nice things for their families and behave appropriately.
But mostly they steal from their families joy and peace. robbing children and teenagers of the security and stability of growing up loved.
And some abusive men even claim to love God in one breath, and then in the next spew evil words of death to their children or wife demanding that everything go their way.
The craziness perpetuates and wives justify their husband’s actions, refusing to acknowledge the truth.
Abusers are fearful, little men who wreck big havoc on their families.
They throw their weight around and throw punches that one day might kill a child. Or a wife. They kick and scream and through temper tantrums like the hurting, sinful two year old they are inside. Kicking wives, children and maybe even the dog, rendering internal injuries that one day may prove fatal.
Narcissistic, they only love themselves for shame and pity’s sake, having no real idea that God loves them very much while hating their terrible deeds.
And a wife who stands by her man as he destroys the souls and bodies of herself or her babies, whether they are newborn or 18, is unwise and mislead about her role of following her husband.
God will NEVER call a wife to submit to torment and terror. God NEVER says it is okay for a man to beat or abuse a woman or children.
Please wake up, Wife.
This man that you married for better or worse is not a godly husband or dad.
He may wear a mask in public and at church, he may even go forward for altar calls all teary eyed, but the changes are never lasting. He may be kind to neighbors and friends who believe he is a great man but behind closed doors — watch out!! Nothing EVER gives a man the right to physically or verbally harm his family.
Dear wife my heart cries out to your heart — all hurting, fearful, and angry inside — You claim to love your kids with all your heart. And I know you do, but the love got twisted long ago and you are allowing abuse.
Parents are called to protect, nurture and guide their children to successful adulthood. And there is NEVER an excuse for an angry man to ever lay a finger on a woman or child unless life is at stake.
But the only life that is at stake is the life of the one abused.
Do you really want to attend your child’s funeral someday, Wife?
Try to imagine for moment how you will feel the day they lower your son or daughter’s coffin six feet under and you realize you had the power to prevent their untimely death. And no amount of tears will ever bring them back to you.
If you truly love God and your babies, then leave. Today.
Get out and get help before it is too late.
And in your leaving — not going for counseling again or asking the pastors to pray again — you just might shake your spouse awake so he can see how evil and broken and small and hard he is inside.
And you will save the lives of those you love.
Reality is that you live with a ticking time bomb.
He doesn’t respect you, but exploits you.
He doesn’t love you, but uses you.
He’s not proud of how lovely you truly are, but flaunts you to boost his own fragile ego.
And you let him.
God truly loves you and your children so let Him be your Maker who is your Husband and the Father of the fatherless. God will never leave you, He will make the way, He will provide and protect you and your babies if you will only let Him be the One that you cling to.
Please open your eyes to the hideousness at home and be warned that more than four children DIE EVERYDAY in the United States as a result of abuse.
Abused children are 25% more likely to experience teen pregnancy.
As many as two-thirds of adults in treatment for drug abuse report having been abused as children.
LEAVE the abuser that you live with and let God deal with him.
Or would you rather wait until your child dies at the hands of a man who is no man at all?
Pick up the phone, Wife, and make a call to change your life for the better.
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline
For adult survivors of childhood abuse these resources can help.
And here’s an article When Fathers Kill Their Kids
Other information can be found at ChildHelp.org
May God our good Father bless you and keep you and give you grace and courage to leave. Now.
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline
Dad and son