God changes your marriage as He changes your heart…First Things First, Part 3

While it’s yet dark I throw back the covers, sit in silence for a few moments letting the new day sink in. Hush of pre-dawn hours and His ever-nearness enveloping me like a warm shawl on a cold morning. My mind stilled, my heart reaches heavenward. This time is just for me and Him.

And my Michael, he’s got his own personal meeting going on with the Lord.

Daily we choose to enter the secret place before entering our day and it sets the tone for the hours that follow, impacting decision-making, our willingness to obey, stress levels, and by extension, our marriage. So we guard our time with Him.

When you or I neglect our time with God we make it easier for the enemy to sneak past our boundaries, wrecking havoc and harm, crushing in ways small and big — sometimes severely damaging marriages, with families breaking and how the babies cry.

But we are smarter than that because we are Daddy’s devoted daughters and Father’s faithful sons, aren’t we?

We hear His voice — when we are listening. We learn from the Bible (especially the words and life and Christ) — when we read it. We grow closer to God through prayer — when we make the effort. Choices. And in these things, and as we practice other spiritual disciplines, we are victorious when the challenges of life and marriage overwhelm.

So how’s your love affair with God these days?

Do you know Him? Really? Or do you wear the mask and go through the motions? Something to seriously consider regardless of how life and marriage are currently faring.

And an absolute necessity if your marriage is a mess today — with gaping chasms of pain, fear, sin, hurt and loss from the uglies satan uses to destroy us — all the weaknesses we yield to, the wounds from childhood, the hardness of heart. Your union seems doomed and you’re thinking about throwing in the towel: I’m done, I’m calling a lawyer, or one of satan’s favorite lines: I’m not in love with him/her anymore.

You may think that packing your bags, divorcing your spouse, and moving on is all it will take to make your heart happy. Wrong! You will still be there. With all your own inner stuff that needs healing. Not to mention the terrible fall-out that follows divorce — emotional, physical and financial devastation. And your babies wailing even 20 years later.

For divorce doesn’t just split a couple apart it wrecks families, destroying the stability and security every child needs. Little boys and girls, and even bigger ones, want mommy and daddy together, loving each other for a lifetime. Role models for the next generation. Every successful marriage making society stronger. And if you’re thinking that a new marriage with someone else will magically be all better, please think again.

And don’t give up before turning to God who is the repairer of the breech, the salvation of our souls and the mender of marriages.

But it needs to begin with you, the plank in your eye. Focusing on your spouse’s faults is God’s business. Of course he or she needs to change too, but only God can do it. And I doubt He looks at our bad as much as we do. He sees us as He intends us to be. Made right as we become like His son.

The journey of discipleship begins with your choice — not just to believe in Jesus — but to be like Jesus. Moment by moment with every choice made in line with God’s will. And when both husband and wife commit to follow God like this, as true disciples, hearts and marriages change for the better.

Because God really loves you and me.

He thinks about us all. the. time. Knowing all the good and the bad and loving us still. And He always will. God’s no runner when things get down and dirty. He rolls up His sleeves, lifts us out of our slime, and kisses our sins away.

So what do you say we love Father back like never before?

Spending more real time with Him, not just showing up at small group. Knowing Him, not just knowing about Him. Believing Him like your life depends on it. Doing and saying what He does no matter how much your soul screams in opposition.

Discipleship, it’s not just getting saved, it’s coming and following each day, all the way.

And it’s hard when we first turn whole heartedly to God. Discipleship takes you to the edge of yourself and as you peer into your abyss beware the unpleasantness. Yet don’t hide from God or wallow in recrimination and guilt. If you are sorry, truly, then you are forgiven. And God is ready to move you forward. You don’t need to constantly replay mistakes. Choose not to think on them, just like God says He does. Forgetting.

Is right this minute the time to stop whatever your doing?

And open your heart. Bend your knee. Ask for help. Choose to cling. With baby steps preceding leaps of faith, you’ll learn Him and live Him and fall madly in love with Him.

Just like He desires.

A thousand times each day your choices transform your character. Over time right God-choices change your life and marriage, His promised abundance reaped in unimaginable ways.

And God never makes an empty promise…

Please come back for future posts in the First Things First series with practical helps for deepening discipleship and by extension improving your marriage. So you don’t miss out, subscribe now by clicking on the box.

First Things First series, Part 1

Part 2 — Annual Marriage Checkup

And for a free 20 minute mentoring session to kick start your new year, click on the image below.

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Announcing my 1st audio podcast “Let Go of Your Grudge” …


I know what it’s like to be hurt so badly you think you’ll never again smile with your whole heart. But I’ve also learned that by obeying God and choosing to forgive you’ll find the way to serenity, joy and love.

Because nursing that grudge you’ve held onto forever will NEVER EVER make your life better.

God has forgiven you and you long for a life of peace that spills over into a happier marriage and healthier family. Unforgiveness and resentment are unrelenting jailers but you hold the key to freedom. 

And today, in my first-ever audio podcast are seven tips on letting go of your grudge. 


If you would rather read the tips, please scroll below.MENTORING TREE SUN

Sheila Kimball Mentoring can help you let go your your grudge…

1. Understand that your resentment is a replay of past chaos and drama in your life.

2. Accept that you are powerless to change the past or another person.

3. Identify the words, actions or thoughts that provoke you to negative responses and choose to HALT especially when you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired.

4. Affirm your true power. God will help you can let go of this grudge and be free to live a much happier, healthier life with a more satisfying marriage and better relationships.

5. Admit to God and a trusted other that you have held onto your grudge for far too long and then receive God’s forgiveness for the hardness of your own heart.

6. Forgive your offender by understanding that you are forgiven by God. Forgive as a choice and over time, with prayer, your heart will heal, become strong and the pain you feel now will leave. 

7. Practice “forgetfulness.” While you never truly forget past hurts you can choose to think differently by changing your thoughts to something better thereby avoiding the repetitive cycle that keeps you trapped.

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Invest in your future when you try my mentoring for FREE. Sign up now for a 20 minute session at no cost to you. {U.S. residents only.}

For all the details on Sheila Kimball Mentoring click HEREMy one-on-one mentoring leads women through the process of forgiving and letting go of bitterness and resentment after divorce, abuse or other family or relationship dysfunctions in a caring, confidential way. I also work with single moms, empty nest moms and women in other life transitions.

But don’t take my word about mentoring, read what some of my clients have to say:

When my husband of 16 years told me he didn’t love me like he used to I was shocked, but Sheila  grounded me and reminded me who I am in the Lord. It’s been a painful journey, yet I find great comfort by Sheila’s godly mentoring because I didn’t know how I was going to make it as a single woman and a mother of two boys. Sheila certainly has the gift of comforting those in pain and guiding her sisters in The Lord towards forgiveness and healing. God raised her up for a time such as this! 


Each time I have been mentored by Sheila I was led from a place of despair to a place of hope; from suffering to empowerment; from feeling disconnected with God’s grace to feeling showered with God’s love.

Isn’t it time for you to start living the life you dream of…

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