We all know how wonderful it feels when we are treated kindly, especially by our spouse. We feel welcomed and valued, like a special friend to whom is shown gentleness, concern, warmth, consideration and affection.
And our husbands or our wives, they are our very best forever friends.
In the beginning of any marriage kindness seems to come easily and naturally. With rose colored glasses in place and a strong desire to spend as much time as possible with our significant other, we go out of our way to be kind, which is a foremost attribute of what God defines as true love according to 1 Corinthians 13.
But then the daily grind sets in and we begin to see our spouse as the highly-imperfect yet no less deserving of our love individuals that they — and we — are. And we start to slip a gear here and there. In our society’s rush-rush world of full time careers, raising children, serving in our churches and communities, we can quickly become worn out.
Leaving little time for marriage care and building.
And when we are are overtired and stressed our defenses weaken, we get less alert and diligent in our obedience towards God and His command to love Him and others well. Often the first person we push to a distant second place in our lives is our spouse, our very own one-flesh other that we have promised to love, honor and remain faithful to in better and worse for all the days till death.
But we forget all this and easily fall into me-first mode. Making God, our spouse and eventually ourselves very unhappy. And if this situation is not rectified, it can lead to the destruction of our marriage. For a marriage begins to weaken with the very first careless choice.
And His Holy Spirit ever present to remind us that kindness counts. Especially in marriage and our families where little hearts are growing daily, their ever watchful eyes seeing everything, tiny ears taking it all in. Better and worse. We want to teach our children well and make our Father proud. And the added benefit of doing life and marriage God’s way is that it provides a solid, secure foundation — the best gift any parent can give a child.
Kindness and kin comes from the same root word. When we are kind to our husband or wife we are treating them as flesh and bone of our flesh and bone, both of us belonging to each other and the family of God. And to grow and maintain a happy healthy marriage we must remember to daily practice treating each other with courtesy, compassion and respect. Treating others the way we want to be treated.
So today, let’s stop whatever we are doing and exhale for a moment. Then whisper a prayer to God for grace to put our spouse before ourself and love them with simple kindnesses such as:
1. Having a positive and pleasant disposition.
2. Using polite and respectful language.
3. Tenderly showing we love them more than any other.
4. Paying attention and really listening to them.
5. Valuing their thoughts, suggestions, feelings.
6. Accepting differences and recognizing the gift of those differences.
7. Honoring them at all times and especially in front of the children or others.
8. When in the midst of a conflict, choosing our words carefully, keeping a lid on our temper and purposing to solve the issue not change each other.
9. Finding ways to genuinely compliment our spouse.
10. Always saying thank you even for little things typically taken for granted.
11. Letting them know we’re thinking about them when apart.
12. Keeping our eyes, heart and body only for our spouse.
13. Choosing to surprise them by doing a chore they don’t much enjoy.
14. Leaving a love note in their car, on their laptop, in their lunch.
15. Reminding ourselves that this life we share with our spouse can suddenly be gone without warning.
And above all, praying for our spouse daily, for their strengths as well as the weaknesses we do not like, asking God to bless them generously in all ways.
Sheila Kimball Mentoring encourages you to heal your heart and move forward from where you are today through an abiding relationship with God. CLICK my image now and get started on healing your heart and mending your marriage or life.
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