Is your marriage producing thorns and thistles? Then plant new seeds today…

ACORN SEED

And keep watering those new seeds until the flames that threaten to burn them up are extinguished.

For there is anger buried deep and breathing fire from the depths of its darkened habitation habitually spitting unforgiveness like acid rain. Burning a hole first in the heart of him or her who secretly tends it and pets it and keeps it alive even though all it can do is destroy when cuddled close.

And this anger fierce is so often against self that has chosen poorly too many times to count.

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.
Galatians 6:7-8

Except critical self does keep count! And lies loudly as you lie awake all night rehashing that which is done and over. No matter how many times you think the same thoughts about what might have been, or beat yourself up for having been so stupid, it’s just a waste of time.

What is done is done.

There is no un-doing past choices — good or bad — for all is past and all that is, is present. There is only one gift and that is in this one, breathing, heart-beating moment so readily squandered. Stop throwing away the gifts of your marriage, crying over milk that you or your spouse spilled, watching it puddle on the kitchen floor and all of it curdling sour.

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Romans 8:1-4

ACORN TWO

As a couple you have fallen into the cracks, first of your own two hearts, and then those in the foundation of your union. Staying there, shoving each other out of the way as you vie to be first and always right, pressure increases and cracks deepen becoming harder, though not impossible, to fill with soil and seeds new and good.

Yet you and your spouse keep raking each other over the coals as you scratch at the same patch of dirt feeling hopelessly lost in the long nights of sighing and your heart crying and you catch a glimpse of what it means for two to walk and work and heal as one in the twinkle of each other’s eyes quickly fading when thistles twist and thorns pierce.

And the light of your love that incubates new seeds to life grows dim, then cold, for you neglect to tend the home fires burning only with rage.

But God.

ACORN DECK

And His grace abundant filling in your cracks and failures with hope that chases despair into the light which transforms no matter how dark your marriage seems right now. There is always hope, you must believe, and begin again. And again and again for as long as it takes for your self to stop coddling itself and you understand that you are not a victim, but a victor.

Both of you!

Why do you look at the speck that is in your {spouse’s} eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your {spouse}, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:3-5

You’ve traveled miles of unending pain, yet your journey has just begun so have courage and be kind and find strength of soul and fortitude of mind and determination of will that sets you and your spouse apart from all the other couples who have slipped away from each other, losing their own heart that beats within the other.

And how silly and immature it is to blame or shame, hoot or holler, or shun and run when the fault lies within each of you deeply grooved.

ACORN LEAVES

You know what to do that pleases God for you have walked with Him many years, so just do it. Change your reaction, alter your speech, formulate new thoughts and then live unpredictably different from your past. One day at a time, hard as it is and keep on keeping on no matter how weary you become.

For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Philippians 2:13

God at work growing a husband into a son and a wife into a daughter and a disparate pair into a complete couple whose uniqueness and beauty will shine unreal yet finally real for the masks that hide the hurt have been removed and the weapons laid aside and in total nakedness there is no shame for you no longer critically condemn your one flesh partner who is but the mirror image of yourself, reflecting back in their distinctive way your own bad because the two of you are one.

One!

So stop fighting each other and start fighting together the condemner of the brethren and of spouses since time began and be victorious in marriage and in life. 

ACORN TREE

Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father.
Matthew 13:43

And side by side you will shine as together you toil and rake and dig and keep planting seed, healthy and good, even when droughts prevail or rains like so many tears wash away what has been newly sown. Your tiny seeds tended will sprout roots deep, grow strong, and reach tall as a healthy tree bearing good fruit whose leaf does not wither in ages old.

Fruit that is life giving and sweet to the soul of your marriage and so many others…

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Sheila Kimball Mentoring for women can help you become the wife who works together with, not against, her husband to plant new seeds in marriage producing righteousness to a thousand generations. CLICK NOW on my photo for a FREE mentoring session and further details.

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“There came a woman…” Words for the wife, mother, or any woman who struggles to follow Jesus

CHATHAM BENCH

There came a woman with an alabaster vial of very costly perfume of pure nard and she broke the vial and poured it over His head…
Mark 14:4

Maybe you’re a wife and mother or an empty nester with a retired husband. Or perhaps you’re in a corner office leveraging multi-million dollar deals. Maybe you’re all these things and just trying to hold on and make life work.

Wherever we women find ourselves and whatever our current role in life may be, let’s live it out regally with all our soul and mind and strength for this one glorious, messy life is not a dress rehearsal.

It’s the real thing full of salty tears and laughter loud and moments good and bad, all of which leave their mark. And we will be salted with fire so that we may become salt that purifies self from its own ambitions and vain attempts at making life work on self-terms. And salt makes others thirsty and that’s when we can lead them to water which is full of life for all the living and is the Word of God.

And in the fullness of time at the end of all our days, we want to be remembered for having lived a life that pleased and honored God in every way, don’t we?

A life of steady obedience and radical love that will take us to the outermost limits of who we think we are and towards becoming who He wants us to be. Then we will shine like the stars in heaven, our little lights reflecting a big God, illuminating the way to freedom for others.

But we will only get to where He wants us to go to the extent that we are devoted to Him.

CHATHAM BIRCH HEART

Adoring Him with love patient and kind and pouring ourselves out as a fragrant offering long remembered. And when there comes a woman such as this — a living, breathing example of the softness and the strength of Father — who obeys and follows and looks and sounds like Jesus many more times than she does not — then the lives around her are in a position to be influenced for great good.

For she has come into the midst of them, those who love her and even those who seem like they don’t much care about her, bearing a fragrant force that envelopes like a cloud, leading as a pillar by day. And she won’t be fussing and striving and trying, all frenzied or fuming.

She will be at peace like a calm pool of water that reflects back a serene image to heaven.

Quiet, gentle example of her life invites without suffocating, proceeding forward one day at a time without her getting exhausted in her own strength always failing. She accepts who she is in God — beloved daughter sought after and won over, a princess warrior, a royal priestess — and in accepting who she is in Him she finds serenity and sanity that surpasses all understanding for it is the peace of Christ who understood that only One was good and that is God and Jesus did everything the way He saw His Father doing it.

No longer does this woman ride the merry-go-round of madness and mania which has a way of making those she loves insane, too. She has stopped doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results that never come because she has finally discovered the answer to all her longings and problems and relational difficulties, the traumas past and the future fears imagined, the crazy thoughts spinning and the words gushing as if they weren’t being heard in Heaven. As if they weren’t hurting those hearing them here on earth.

CHATHAM VIEW

And the answer is simply,

Come. Follow Me…
Mark 1:17

But she has made the following hard all these years because she isn’t!

She thinks she is following Jesus because maybe she leads the woman’s bible study or has 100 verses memorized each month and while those are good works her heart is working wrong as it runs away with self. And her marriage suffers and her children, too. She keeps asking God for a break, for His favor, forgetting that while He does indeed rain on all, He blesses obedience.

Obedience to the commands of Christ.

Following Jesus means obeying God in the big and little aspects of life. It is doing as Jesus did. And thinking like Him and speaking like him and knowing when to be quiet and listen so that the still small voice can be heard above the constant drone of her days that this is the way to walk, precious daughter dearly loved.

The way of the cross.

And the cross means sacrifice and laying aside her own internal demands that make her feel a little better in the short term but do such long term damage that it may take years to unravel for bad seeds planted produce a bigger crop than one ever expects. She grows discouraged and the enemy lies saying she will never change because she just. keeps. failing.

 Truth says she can become like Christ truly, really, and deeply by the grace of God which is there for her in abundance if only she will believe.

And in her belief, obey. No matter what the voices stirring inside may tell her she will begin to live truly believing and truly following until her heart is absolutely convinced that she is indeed a daughter-disciple who conquers the sin in herself by grace, who repeatedly takes the hard high road of putting God first and others before herself. She chooses to surrender and submit her rowdy will to her Father’s perfect will, sending away her sin just like Jesus did when He died on the cross for her with all His eternal love bleeding out. There is life all shiny new in that precious blood.

CHATHAM POND

She has stopped all her running in circles and talking forever and has quieted her soul and is choosing to deny her sinful, selfish wants and discipline herself until she really is a disciple. She summons up all the strength that God bestows with mercies new each morning and makes herself do. the. right. thing. until doing the right thing is as much a natural part of her as is her breathing.

And the road is narrow with only the most devoted believers finding it and then following it, one day at a time for the rest of their days. But there’s power in the blood and once washed clean by it only her feet need be bathed as she sits at His feet.

The fragrance of this one life of her’s poured out for Him causes the Lover of her soul to smile and there finally comes a woman whose life fragrance is enticing and winsome to all around her. She has broken the alabaster jar of her past way of living sinful and pours out her all obediently.

Becoming who she is meant to be as she comes to Jesus and simply follows…

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Sheila Kimball Mentoring can help you find the narrow road to a glorious life wide with blessings from above, including a happier marriage and family, and able to draw others to God. Click on my photo now for a FREE 20 minute introductory session and further information.

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I can’t tell you enough how the Michael Phillip’s book, Commands of Christ, has and is helping me to be a truer daughter-disciple. Get your copy today by clicking my affiliate link HERE. And then slowly read through it, one day at a time, letting the powerful truths contained sink deeply into your soul, but most importantly choosing to live the Commands.

 

 

You don’t have to walk on eggshells…Domestic Violence Awareness podcast plus FREE mentoring session

PERKINS COVE

Once upon a nightmare, I was in an abusive marriage.

And I learned the hard way that abusers very rarely change yet their actions produce powerful changes in their victims. 

From confident to intimidated.

Happy to sad.

Outgoing and social to reclusive and withdrawn.

And sometimes from alive to dead.

The Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that three women are killed every day in the United States by a current or former intimate partner. And according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention each year 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner.

As a survivor of a courts-cops-orders-of-protection second marriage, I encourage you to take the steps necessary to get help for yourself and your children if you are living with an abuser. Links to previous October posts about my past experiences are at the end of this post.

COFFEE

But the story I speak today is an encouragement to break free of any abusive situation. A deeply heart-felt account, I wrote this as an open letter to you and all women everywhere who have or are suffering abuse.

For a free transcript of today’s podcast, CLICK HERE.

Abuse in any form is dangerous and God doesn’t want anyone to remain in an abusive situation.


If you need help call the National Domestic Violence Hotline now 
1-800-799-7233. 

I got out and so can you!!

And may God be with you and your children…

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Other posts I’ve written on the subject of Domestic Violence:

October-is-Domestic-Violence-Awareness-Month

Get out now before it’s too late

Their love saved my life

He never has the right to hit you

To the wife who holds her breath

Forgive your abuser to be totally free

If an abusive dad was to apologize

Don’t stand by your man when your child could die

Husbands get abused too

As a woman who has survived domestic violence, divorce and single parenting challenges after abuse, I now help women recover, heal and rebuild their lives through Sheila Kimball Mentoring. CLICK HERE today for information and a FREE mentoring session. {U.S. residents only, please.}

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For more information and client testimonials visit Sheila Kimball Mentoring.

Announcing my 1st audio podcast “Let Go of Your Grudge” …

MENTORING 1

I know what it’s like to be hurt so badly you think you’ll never again smile with your whole heart. But I’ve also learned that by obeying God and choosing to forgive you’ll find the way to serenity, joy and love.

Because nursing that grudge you’ve held onto forever will NEVER EVER make your life better.

God has forgiven you and you long for a life of peace that spills over into a happier marriage and healthier family. Unforgiveness and resentment are unrelenting jailers but you hold the key to freedom. 

And today, in my first-ever audio podcast are seven tips on letting go of your grudge. 

 

If you would rather read the tips, please scroll below.MENTORING TREE SUN

Sheila Kimball Mentoring can help you let go your your grudge…

1. Understand that your resentment is a replay of past chaos and drama in your life.

2. Accept that you are powerless to change the past or another person.

3. Identify the words, actions or thoughts that provoke you to negative responses and choose to HALT especially when you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired.

4. Affirm your true power. God will help you can let go of this grudge and be free to live a much happier, healthier life with a more satisfying marriage and better relationships.

5. Admit to God and a trusted other that you have held onto your grudge for far too long and then receive God’s forgiveness for the hardness of your own heart.

6. Forgive your offender by understanding that you are forgiven by God. Forgive as a choice and over time, with prayer, your heart will heal, become strong and the pain you feel now will leave. 

7. Practice “forgetfulness.” While you never truly forget past hurts you can choose to think differently by changing your thoughts to something better thereby avoiding the repetitive cycle that keeps you trapped.

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Invest in your future when you try my mentoring for FREE. Sign up now for a 20 minute session at no cost to you. {U.S. residents only.}

For all the details on Sheila Kimball Mentoring click HEREMy one-on-one mentoring leads women through the process of forgiving and letting go of bitterness and resentment after divorce, abuse or other family or relationship dysfunctions in a caring, confidential way. I also work with single moms, empty nest moms and women in other life transitions.

But don’t take my word about mentoring, read what some of my clients have to say:

When my husband of 16 years told me he didn’t love me like he used to I was shocked, but Sheila  grounded me and reminded me who I am in the Lord. It’s been a painful journey, yet I find great comfort by Sheila’s godly mentoring because I didn’t know how I was going to make it as a single woman and a mother of two boys. Sheila certainly has the gift of comforting those in pain and guiding her sisters in The Lord towards forgiveness and healing. God raised her up for a time such as this! 

 

Each time I have been mentored by Sheila I was led from a place of despair to a place of hope; from suffering to empowerment; from feeling disconnected with God’s grace to feeling showered with God’s love.

Isn’t it time for you to start living the life you dream of…

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Do you really understand God’s grace of forgiveness?

DECEPTION BEACH

Does forgiving others when they hurt us come more easily when we are able to readily accept God’s forgiveness of our own sins?

When we rightly view God’s grace as it covers our faults?

When we rest in a love so deep and divine and all encompassing that nothing — not our most heinous of sins — will ever separate us from it?

Because if we truly get God’s grace of forgiveness — down deep into our hearts and minds until it permeates every single cell of our souls — we will fill with grace and love as our hearts grow, pains diminish and we see our “offenders” covered with the same grace-robe that God draws over each of us in all our beauty and ugliness.

For God is love.

And love is patient.

WHITE STONES

And God’s patience with us extends day by day and each one a thousand years in the making and Him creating everything in aeons of six days and working creatively in us until that day we receive a white stone. And He is never in a hurry.

Yet we so often are. We fall from grace — perhaps repeating angry words or actions that we believed were far gone from our souls, yet they rear ugly when we least expect it and we are floored that we failed in that same old, same old way.

But God.

He is not surprised and with a tender gentle patience He picks us up into Fatherly arms that do not fly into a rage and beat us with the switch. He prunes, but never punishes, and Father-heart words soothe our sadness when He says,

Yes, you failed, falling from love and obedience like before. But look here. Will you see how far along the healing road you are? Will you discern that your failures are less and less frequent? I AM your Father and I AM pleased with every progress you make day by day. So receive Me and My forgiveness, full of grace and love. Allow your heart and mind to self-forgive. Then let go. Leave it behind. Look ahead of you — where you are going not where you have been. To the future and beyond where I AM already and where I see you victorious. So keep walking forward. Forget the former things. I AM making you and all things new, moment by moment.

You are not a hypocrite for failing, my Child, you are my student-disciple. And I AM training you up in the way that you should go. Your failures, however costly, are valuable lessons of love where you learn through sinful stumbling and sickening sorrows that you are and ever will be my dearly beloved no matter that you are also sorely imperfect. I AM not the stern Father who berates, shames and punishes for anything less than your gold-star performance. I AM your Father and I AM homeschooling you and college tuition is expensive.

Forever I AM your’s and you are Mine and I love you no matter what. And always will…

DECEPTION OTHER SIDE

These thoughts sink into my soul. May they seep into your’s, too.

Never should we lightly receive His grace when we do wrong. We must be humbly contrite, allowing the piercing pain of our badness at failing our Father and hurting His heart — Him who desperately loves His precious prodigals no matter they sometimes leave Him to dally in dusky shadows. Letting love carve away the sin sickness that steals the very life from our beating hearts. Hearts that God wants pulsing for and with Him, covered with the blood gift setting us free.

And in this great love and grace of forgiveness we must choose obedience which is His love language and repent, turning away from sin to go in the right direction towards home.

The Greek word … (for repentance) is made up of two words, the conjoint meaning of which is, a change of mind or thought. There is in it no intent of, or hint at sorrow or shame…it is a sending away of sins…Both God and man send away sins, but in the one case God sends away the sins of the man, and in the other the man sends away his own sins…The change must be one of will and conduct — a radical change of life on the part of the man: he must repent — that is, change his mind — not to a different opinion, not even to a mere betterment of his conduct — not to anything less than a sending away of his sins…
~George MacDonald, The Hope of the Gospel, “The Remission of Sins”

You open your heart and I’ll open mine and grace will flow way down deep to where bone meets marrow and the transfusion needed becomes the transformation true of the fulfillment of originating thoughts that Father had of us at the moment of conception.

Twinkling-of-an-eye moment where He thought of you, me, all of us, for good.

Precious moment of grace…

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