Exquisite ache…reflecting with gratitude, anticipating with joy

RT Trees

With Thanksgiving past and my heart flooded with gratitude for all our sweet and special blessings, as Christmas draws closer day by day, an expectant hopefulness rises within me bringing a desire to reflect deeper still.

On life, love and all things God.

And with the season of darkness and bitter cold descended at least in New York, I feel the urgent pull to be warmed by His embrace. Aligning my heart in sync with the heavenly heartbeat.

Breathing. Waiting. Opening.

RT Stairs

For there are certain somethings that touch me with the deepest ache.

Sunset. A full moon. Late afternoon sun sliding into a room like golden honey. Twinkly lights flashing like pinpoint stars. Melodies calling to the soul from somewhere long ago and faraway. And always, always the wanting for more time to spend with those I most love.

Brian Crain’s Summer in Italy transports me in this way and I invite you to listen.

Yet the ache is not sad, bittersweet perhaps, more a yearning so exquisite that I can barely breathe. 

A divine heart-call in whispers often unheard. And in the longing for what seems just beyond my grasp, behind the veil, comes again the realization that all my longings end in His heart of Love. 

For is there not unique and redeeming beauty in our ache when it urges us closer to God?

Drawing us with an intimate promise of all that was ever meant to be. And after years of wandering and wondering, attempting to assuage the ache to belong, to know and be known, to love and be loved as never before, comes the discovery both ancient and newly-born.

There.

Is.

Only.

One.

Him who obliterates darkness, fills the void, expands the heart, pours the grace. Holiness healing the deepest hurts and worst habits. And on those silent nights as we look up, when divinely-implanted loneliness is most acutely felt, our hearts will crescendo in hallelujahs for darkness brightens with the Morning Star.

RT Light

During the next few weeks as life speeds up, crowding out quiet contentment, make room at the inn of your heart to welcome Him simply. No frills or fuss, no pretense or striving. Come as you are and just be with Him in all the fullness of each present moment. Then linger with longing and fill even more.

Him the gift to us and us through Him becoming the gift He intends.

May Christmas come softly this year, helping us hear as He beckons us to rise from the ash heap of mortal existence to kiss His face, pursuing Him with passion the way He pursues us.

Our ache leading us home at Christmas. And then we will know. For certain sure.

We are His. We belong. We are loved. And the tattered remnants of our orphan hearts will tear away like discarded gift wrap as we emerge more fully grown.

At once and still becoming, a true-er daughter or son of the best dad ever…

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4 thoughts on “Exquisite ache…reflecting with gratitude, anticipating with joy

  1. Oh Sheila, this tears at my heart in the best way possible. What a beautiful piece of poetic prose to help steer our hearts deeper toward peace and a mind’s awareness of being so completely loved and held and desired by God! I hardly know what to highlight here, because all of it spoke to my weary soul. This is a lovely call to rest, to linger longer in God’s presence and receive all our hearts truly need for Christmas and beyond. Though these words, especially, made tears spring to my eyes:

    “We are His. We belong. We are loved. And the tattered remnants of our orphan hearts will tear away like discarded gift wrap as we emerge more fully grown.”

    Welcome back to your blog! It’s so good to see you here again, sweet friend. And oh what a beautiful work God has been doing within during your weeks of settling closer into Him! With love and gratitude. xo <3

    • Dear Friend — your words, a reflection of your heart, are always precious to me. Filled with insight and encouragement. I am glad that this post spoke to you in a meaningful way. We. Are. His. Beloved. Daughters!!! And thank you for the warm welcome. There has been much to reflect on since the summer, both wonderful and worrisome. It has been nearly half a year since that June 2 Heimlich incident which pretty much stopped me in my tracks to consult deeper with Father as to why I am still here {Thank You Lord and Michael!} and how I am to more closely grow to His heart and as a Daughter who helps others. Enough light for one step at a time and all is good. Blessings and more blessings to you, dear Joy, for a very bright and joy-filled Christmas. With love and hugs <3