Is your marriage producing thorns and thistles? Then plant new seeds today…


And keep watering those new seeds until the flames that threaten to burn them up are extinguished.

For there is anger buried deep and breathing fire from the depths of its darkened habitation habitually spitting unforgiveness like acid rain. Burning a hole first in the heart of him or her who secretly tends it and pets it and keeps it alive even though all it can do is destroy when cuddled close.

And this anger fierce is so often against self that has chosen poorly too many times to count.

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.
Galatians 6:7-8

Except critical self does keep count! And lies loudly as you lie awake all night rehashing that which is done and over. No matter how many times you think the same thoughts about what might have been, or beat yourself up for having been so stupid, it’s just a waste of time.

What is done is done.

There is no un-doing past choices — good or bad — for all is past and all that is, is present. There is only one gift and that is in this one, breathing, heart-beating moment so readily squandered. Stop throwing away the gifts of your marriage, crying over milk that you or your spouse spilled, watching it puddle on the kitchen floor and all of it curdling sour.

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Romans 8:1-4


As a couple you have fallen into the cracks, first of your own two hearts, and then those in the foundation of your union. Staying there, shoving each other out of the way as you vie to be first and always right, pressure increases and cracks deepen becoming harder, though not impossible, to fill with soil and seeds new and good.

Yet you and your spouse keep raking each other over the coals as you scratch at the same patch of dirt feeling hopelessly lost in the long nights of sighing and your heart crying and you catch a glimpse of what it means for two to walk and work and heal as one in the twinkle of each other’s eyes quickly fading when thistles twist and thorns pierce.

And the light of your love that incubates new seeds to life grows dim, then cold, for you neglect to tend the home fires burning only with rage.

But God.


And His grace abundant filling in your cracks and failures with hope that chases despair into the light which transforms no matter how dark your marriage seems right now. There is always hope, you must believe, and begin again. And again and again for as long as it takes for your self to stop coddling itself and you understand that you are not a victim, but a victor.

Both of you!

Why do you look at the speck that is in your {spouse’s} eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your {spouse}, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:3-5

You’ve traveled miles of unending pain, yet your journey has just begun so have courage and be kind and find strength of soul and fortitude of mind and determination of will that sets you and your spouse apart from all the other couples who have slipped away from each other, losing their own heart that beats within the other.

And how silly and immature it is to blame or shame, hoot or holler, or shun and run when the fault lies within each of you deeply grooved.


You know what to do that pleases God for you have walked with Him many years, so just do it. Change your reaction, alter your speech, formulate new thoughts and then live unpredictably different from your past. One day at a time, hard as it is and keep on keeping on no matter how weary you become.

For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Philippians 2:13

God at work growing a husband into a son and a wife into a daughter and a disparate pair into a complete couple whose uniqueness and beauty will shine unreal yet finally real for the masks that hide the hurt have been removed and the weapons laid aside and in total nakedness there is no shame for you no longer critically condemn your one flesh partner who is but the mirror image of yourself, reflecting back in their distinctive way your own bad because the two of you are one.


So stop fighting each other and start fighting together the condemner of the brethren and of spouses since time began and be victorious in marriage and in life. 


Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father.
Matthew 13:43

And side by side you will shine as together you toil and rake and dig and keep planting seed, healthy and good, even when droughts prevail or rains like so many tears wash away what has been newly sown. Your tiny seeds tended will sprout roots deep, grow strong, and reach tall as a healthy tree bearing good fruit whose leaf does not wither in ages old.

Fruit that is life giving and sweet to the soul of your marriage and so many others…

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Sheila Kimball Mentoring for women can help you become the wife who works together with, not against, her husband to plant new seeds in marriage producing righteousness to a thousand generations. CLICK NOW on my photo for a FREE mentoring session and further details.

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3 thoughts on “Is your marriage producing thorns and thistles? Then plant new seeds today…

  1. So true…daily we must choose what we are going to focus on. We can’t let “pressing” issues take us away for those that really matter.
    God care’s more for people than for projects being completed.
    God cares for for our marriages and our parenting than He does our bank accounts and status.