Someone did you wrong and hurt you deeply. Someone neglected you and didn’t provide the care you needed. Someone just never does enough for you.
And you bear Someone a grudge.
Resentment and anger makes you feel powerful but it’s an intoxicatingly toxic illusion. Like drinking poison and expecting your someone to die, holding onto your grudge only puts you in the grip of death. It keeps you a prisoner and your someone may not even have a clue that you’re offended or hurting.
Yet you replay the scene of the offense in your mind over and over slowly killing yourself emotionally, physically, spiritually and relationally. And if you’re married and the grudge you hold is against your husband be warned that your radioactive resentments will spill over and contaminate your children. Gripping a grudge against anyone creates a negative environment in which to raise your babies.
So why keep holding on to your indignation?
Your anger, unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment and grudge, while understandable, are weak attempts at gaining control of a situation or person or fixing a past situation. You can’t control or change anyone but yourself. And no amount of time wasted rehashing what happened will make it different. And it certainly won’t make your life better.
What you choose to think about enlarges in your mind all consuming and when the topic is negative there’s no place for you to go except down into the dungeon of self-pitying, nit-picking grumbling which makes no one happy. Especially you. And maybe you feel your anger rising right now knowing how terribly you’ve been hurt by what your someone did to you in the past.
I am truly so very sorry that your were hurt, abused, neglected, abandoned, lied to, cheated on, swindled, betrayed, disrespected or ignored.
I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of those unwanted gifts. It stings for a long time and leaves you asking, “Why would this someone I trusted treat me this way?” It can make it more difficult to trust others and with hurt and fear swirling your anger festers.
But I also know how freeing it is to let go of a grudge. How beneficial it is to release and get on with your life. And this is where your real power lies — to live minus the chains that bind you to another keeping you trapped.
And there’s only one way out and that’s by choosing to forgive and then remembering to forget by thinking on something much more excellent than your grudge.
It’s often not easy to forgive the someone who wrecked you but you must be brave and choose life over death so you can live fully receiving the full monty of love, peace and joy that God intends for you. Because when resentments smolder in the background of long ago seemingly insignificant situations in the present moment flare with incendiary destructiveness, impeding the forward motion of your life and leading to relational disunity and marital breakups with those who usually have nothing to do with your original hurt.
Maybe you bear a grudge against your dad, mom, a sibling or an ex. Your unsuspecting husband makes an innocent comment or some decision that reminds you of something someone once said or did and you blow your top. Your spouse bears you no ill will whatsoever but you lash out mean and angry at him because of pain-filled anger from your past.
Letting go of yesterday’s traumas will help usher in the loveliest gifts of the present filling your life with goodness overflowing.
Now forgiving doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t happen or downplaying the seriousness of the offense and may even include taking legal action when necessary. Forgiving looses the noose around your own neck as you choose to walk in obedience to God leaving justice in His merciful hands, trusting that God makes all things right in His way and time.
Submitting to God by forgiving others, remembering how much He forgives you, is a gift to yourself that blesses His heart.
Bringing freedom and dreams coming true…
Watch for Part Two of
when I’ll share 7 practical tips to help you find freedom and gain more joy in life.
Please SHARE this post and