Are you a full-giver or empty-taker in your marriage and life?


Maybe in marriage we are searching for some elusive something. A handsome Harry or a raving beauty. Money and security. Sex. Status or prestige.

Or maybe just someone to love broken down you or me.

Yet if we fill this insatiable hunger for something missing with just anything that fits the void inside our heart and momentarily eases the throbbing pain we bear, we become takers who are never satisfied. And the gapping hole within our hearts keeps screaming.

And sometimes we do, too, at a spouse. Or a child, parent, employee or friend.

Dissatisfaction often leads to grumbling. And no one is happy in the union.

But marriage — like life — is not a treasure hunt for gold diggers of any kind.


Marriage and life are a quest. An epic odyssey.

A grand adventure of giving. An opportunity of forgetting self to better serve our Sovereign and our spouse. A dare to trust when we cannot see the end from the murky middle.

But we can’t rightly do this unless Grace and Love accompany us on our journey daily.  And there is safety in numbers as we venture on into the unknown so we invite Wisdom, Obedience, Forgiveness and Patience to travel with us, too.

And we make sure to bring the treasure map.


Mysterious clues buried deep among words ancient and true. We keep digging while it is yet dark out, bringing light inside our very own hearts. Truths of life and love revealed anew. And hearts so often clouded by sin or traditional teachings uninvestigated smother flames of faith flickering. But God wants our hearts burning and ever expanding in love and obedience. Filling in ways they haven’t before. Becoming whole through holiness. Fire cleansing and us becoming real beauty after so many false starts and all those ashes.

And marriages becoming sweeter. Life becoming easier although there will always be hard things to face.

And our great Guide goes before us in a pillar of cloud and a towering fire brightly blazing showing us the way to walk with enough light for each step.

I have loved you just as the Father has loved me. You must go on living in my love. If you keep my commandments you will live in my love just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and live in his love. I have told you this so that you can share my joy, and that your happiness may be complete
John 15:9-11

But when the Helper comes, that is, the Spirit of truth, who comes from the Father and whom I myself will send to you from the Father, he will speak plainly about me. And you yourselves will also speak plainly about me for you have been with me from the first.
John 15:26-27 {Emphasis mine}


And I think of Jesus.

Humbly, simply walking each day in reverence to our Father. Working with wood and making. Eating with his disciples, tax collectors and prostitutes, all of them loved with the same incredible, never ending love. Full of grace and forgiveness. Him telling stories to teach us how to live. Tempted. Trusting. Listening. Weeping. And I am sure laughing, too.

And His hand perhaps on the shoulder of a woman stooped from all her sins through all the years and that simple touch healing.

All these great and mysterious things are too wonderful for me and you to completely understand in these moments of now where we are trapped in time that bends and wrinkles and the past, present and future mingling.

Yet far above our total understanding are these pure, simple truths to live by. And if you remember nothing else from reading this post today, please take with you and hold tight inside your tender heart — God loves with all of His magnificent heart.

God loves YOU and nothing will ever make Him stop loving you.

God came to save YOU from your sins so that you might become all His creative thoughts about you.

God wants YOU to live a life of obedient love to Him and others so that you give far more than take.

And God wants YOU to share your story of love and healing.

With your husband or wife, your children and all the others within your circle. Extending the circle to gather in those who may feel they are on the outside looking in but God wraps His arms around us all.

And He is ever looking in.

At your heart and mine…

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