Sometimes He wakes me in the wee small hours and I know sleep will not return because there are too many words.
Words that swirl and words that soothe. Words I believe He wants me to hear. Words that instruct my heart.
Change my life when I choose to follow.
And sometimes there are words meant for someone else.
Because Jesus, He’ll keep coming after you — just like He did me — no matter how long and how far you run.
All that running only takes you deeper into darkness where secret hurts and shame are hidden from all.
But your tender heart it knows. And in order to survive it grows hard.
Protective shell thicker with each passing year that has taken you further from that original pain, that awful thing that broke you when you were very little. Or maybe not so little.
Memory as close as your very own heartbeat.
Because you won’t let go.
And that secret hidden something that you hold tight is holding you even tighter. And you bear a grudge that you think worth keeping because it makes you feel strong. And in your self-made strength you feel safe.
But you are really so terribly afraid. And you are so very tired.
Your secret and your stubbornness keeps squeezing you. Hard.
You can barely breath. And it takes its toll on your body. Your mind, too. Maybe your job. Definitely your relationships. And your marriage, your children, struggle.
Yet you suffer in silence that screams loudly and lashes out at those you say you love the most.
And you do love them. The best you can. But your love is not yet perfected.
But He has come.
So that you might come undone.
Let Him hold you.
And as you come to Him the knots of tension will loose, bitterness will fade, unforgiveness will vanish, shame will be remembered no more, and self-protection worn as one or another masks that mar the truth will fall from your beautiful face.
And you will shine radiant and true.
Beaming with light and love.
Because your life, your heart, have opened wide. And everything kept under wraps has spilled, all the darks and dirties carefully concealed.
And you forgiving all those who have hurt you. Whether they meant to or not.
Weight of the world that has stooped your shoulders and furrowed your brow lifts. You lighter than ever as if you were walking on air. But it’s the wind of Spirit filling you with new life. Good life. Real life. Something worth living for with every ounce of your being.
Father, our good true father, whispers to your heart.
You are precious, my child.
You have great value. And it’s not wrapped up in your works, or your looks, or your accomplishments. Nor is it wrapped in your bads.
It’s wrapped in Him because it’s from Him.
And His whispers caress your wounded heart. If you will receive them.
His gift to you.
Because this wonderful God so big yet so much better than you or I realize, He loves you no matter what.
I have always loved you and will never stop.
He really, truly loves you in a way that you have never before been loved. Not ever.
And His love is everlasting. And good. He will not violate, abuse or harm you in anyway.
For when you finally give up your uphill struggle and surrender He will tuck you safe inside His heart as He lives in yours.
Punish yourself no more, dear heart.
Your prison bars of bitterness are broken.
Forgive and live!
You are free, my sweet baby.
Let go and let God be God in your life. Give Him all of you, no more holding back, no more thinking you can do it on your own.
You need Him. I need Him. We all need Him.
We live only a half life without Him no matter our fame or fortune, power or prestige.
It’s okay to finally relax fully into His arms, the arms that have carried you all the days of your life. Yes. Even in those days when the secret, terrible things were happening and you felt so abandoned.
He was there.
And I believe He lets some of us suffer heinous things because He knows that one day we will reach up for Him and then He will mend our brokenness and make us ready to go forth in grace to help those who still suffer.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
You were created by Him for just such a purpose. Don’t waste another day. Let His love complete you.
And your life will change for the better, one day at a time, moving you forward into a dizzying array of days filled with delight as well as daily drudgery. But it will be all new and you will blink to make sure you are not dreaming because you can’t remember ever seeing so much warm and pure light bathing you in healing.
What has been done is done.
But you are not done.
You have only just begun.
Believe the love you long for is real. And waiting for you to come and be delivered from the burdens of a lifetime, all the hurt, fear, pain and loss.
He will restore you. Renew you. And your life will be better, grander, with hope and an epic good future.
At last, you will have peace.
And the pain will be no more…
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