When hard things make your marriage hurt…


Marriage like life is hard. Within and without stuff happens. And it hurts.

Maybe you’re marriage is plagued with financial worries. Perhaps your husband lost his job. Maybe there’s illness. Or an adult child that no longer wants you and your spouse in her life. Maybe there’s an ex lurking in the background who loves to stir up trouble. Perhaps your marriage is in the pits because you weren’t paying attention to it as it headed south on a slippery slope.

Hard comes in all shapes and sizes and no one and no marriage is immune. So what can you do when your marriage takes a hit from something hard?

Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6:33


My Michael and me have our share of hard just like you and your husband. Yet we keep locking hearts and looking to Him who brought us together. Trusting that no matter how twisty and turny our path becomes, no matter the hits or the hurts, we will make it to the Promised Land by holding fast to each other and both of us to Him.

And the inscription on our gold bands bears witness.

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12

No matter what your marriage may be facing, fearing or fighting today there will be no getting away from trouble. It will need to be squarely faced as you journey side-by-side, even when the road is dark beyond the next step and you get scratched and scraped along the way. 

Bleeding and crying are sometimes part and parcel of Father’s home school curriculum as He grows children up into maturity. Pain a very powerful teacher.

GETTYS soldier

But Father is working all the hard for great good. Better good than you or I can imagine when we are in the thick of battle.

And He is faithful, never stretching you too much. He knows where you and your husband are headed and by what route you must travel if His purpose in you is to be fulfilled so that your marriage can shine brightly in a dark and dusty world.

Please take heart!

Someone dear once gifted my Michael and me with these powerful words — “your oneness will intensify the action of His spirit in your lives…that His comfort will be manifest to the world around you…live every moment in this love and be amazed.”

And those words apply to your marriage, too.

GETTYS green field

And when you and your spouse weary from traveling the hardscrabble road of marriage and life, listen to Him as He calls you to sit by the side of the road and rest. Wait and hold on to hope that can only be found in Him. And mercy and goodness, soul-guards and companions, are never more than a step behind you, following you on your journey.

He makes us lie down in green pastures; He leads us beside quiet waters. He restores our soul; He guides us in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.
Psalm 23: 2-3

His word will light your path so keep turning the pages of the ancient text. Our Lord’s word is our Lord and as we embrace it, we embrace Him. Holding your bible in your lap is like Jesus sitting right there only it is He who scoops you gently into His lap where you are safe, cared for, protected and encouraged to keep on growing and keep on going, one day at a time. No matter what’s swirling.

When you are one with His word you are one with Him and each other and the words of His word are a love song. And the notes of the song float like summer’s breezes on the wings of the wind, calling you. But only when His Word reaches your heart can its revelation in marriage compose a tender tune. 

So open.

Christ in you in marriage is His word made flesh. And mates manifest oneness more readily when they couple with Him. Especially when times are difficult. And the hard makes you hurt. Or wobble in your faith.

Don’t! And we won’t either!

For this too shall pass. And you want to pass the test.


Keep walking the rough path together in the light of His love.

But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13: 13

And the hard will soften your heart towards God, each other, and others. Teaching you great and unsearchable things you do not yet know. 

Take courage. Keep going. Choose hope. Choose each other.

And cling tight always…

Sheila Signature Reduced

For a free mentoring session to help you get started on healing your marriage, click my image.

If you liked this post won’t you please SHARE it with friends via your social media?
I’d be grateful if you would!

And please SUBSCRIBE now so you don’t miss future posts.
Would love for your to join our growing community!

SK Subscribe

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

9 thoughts on “When hard things make your marriage hurt…

  1. Hi Sheila. Thank you for this encouraging word about persevering through tough times. May the Lord use your words to encourage many faltering marriages. Marriage is hard, but oh the sweet satisfaction of persevering through a lifetime! My husband and I are going on 20 years together!

    • Perseverance is key! Because our feelings regarding our mate and our situations can fluctuate when stressed. But we push through, like you and your hubby, and receive sweet rewards!! So happy for you on your longterm marriage. Blessings and thanks for stopping by.

  2. Beautiful. I love the idea that even when we’re in conflict, we are still walking side-by-side toward Jesus and moving forward in His purpose. Thanks for this encouragement to persevere even when it’s hard!

    • We must always persevere. Always. And it’s so important to watch our thoughts during hard times because our thoughts lead our feelings and that can lead us off the path of marital unity and harmony during hard times.! Thanks for your comments which encourages me! Blessings and hugs…

  3. Sound marriage encouragement, overflowing with wisdom. I especially loved this –> “His word will light your path so keep turning the pages of the ancient text.” Amen! Where we would be w/o God’s word?! Visiting today via #RaRaLinkup

  4. “Never more than a step behind you” I love these words Sheila -all of them but especially those. It’s amazing how burdens and pain can make it seem like love and mercy and peace are far when they are actually so close. Even if just for a moment or simply the Lord working in the heart while the circumstances around remain the same.

    These words are salve. Thank you!

    • He is always there. Sometimes we just have to look harder, deeper, longer, stiller! But when we search we always find the treasure buried in the field even though it be strewn with rocks. God is so good, Bethany. He loves us so much. And He supplies us with everything we need every day. No. Matter. What. Good to hear from you, friend. Thanks so much for stopping by. Your visits encourage me greatly. Blessings and hugs!!

  5. Pain is definitely a powerful teacher. We all will have our fair share of hard times in this world. I’m reminded of Jesus saying that, and yet he added but take heart; he has overcome the world. Amen. Thanks for continually encouraging us, Sheila, to keep our marriages strong so we can weather out the tough times.