Kindness matters in marriage…plus a DIY project to remind you that speaking with hubby is talking to Jesus


Kindness matters.

And no place more than in marriage.

During our couple devotional time the other morning in The Commands by Michael Phillips our reading focused on the imperative Be Kind. While this is not a marriage book per se, reading the commands of Christ one by one, and more importantly following them, is helping us become better spouses and strengthen our union.

The author writes:

…the entire Gospel is infused with kindness from beginning to end. In this larger sense, every word, every gesture, every prayer of Jesus speaks of kindness. Love, kindness, and goodness provide the underlying life-pulsating air of the Gospel.  Jesus hardly needed to say, “Love, be kind, be good.” Every teaching, every parable, every exhortation positively shouted, “Love, be kind, be good.” … 1 Corinthians begins with two towering attributes that ought to be the first character-clothes we put on every morning: Love is patient and kind.

{Can’t recommend this book enough so if you want a copy for you and your hubby here’s my direct link to make ordering easy.}

Scripture reminds us, too.

As you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.
Matthew 25:40

But sometimes Michael and I forget.

In the heat of a moment we can loose sight of the truth that what we say and do to each other we say and do to our Lord. And when you stop and really focus on the weight of Matthew 25:40 it can be crushing.

I got to thinking that maybe we could use a visual reminder to keep us on track in those moments when sin reigns and God’s will falls by the way side.

After supper we launched a DIY project to help us remember to mind our P’s and Q’s at all times. A gentle prod to love well under any circumstances.

And while one of us was more excited about this artsy-crafty project, we are Team Kimball and both want nothing more than to grow as followers of Jesus.

To love each other better and for our marriage to bring more honor to God.


So with praise music playing softly in the background I gathered some supplies.

We each set about designing a sign that can be worn around our neck in times of urgent need or hung on the refrigerator as a flash reminder.


We also talked about ways to show each other kindness that directly speaks to our individual hearts.

Marriage is an endeavor shared by two unique partners. What may work for us may not fit your marriage. But trust that God will inspire your actions and efforts as you seek ways to better serve Him as a spouse.

And here’s the fruit of our labor.




I wonder why it is that we are not all kinder than we are. How much the world needs it. How easily it is done. How instantaneously it acts. How infallibly it is remembered. How superabundantly it pays itself back — for there is no debtor in the world so honorable, so superbly honorable, as Love. “Love never faileth.” Love is success. Love is happiness. Love is life.” Henry Drummond, The Greatest Thing in the World 

Hope this simple, fun post inspires you and your man to take seriously the commands of Christ.

And put them into practice by a choice of your will time and again.

Day in and day out.

For as long as you both shall live…

Sheila Signature Reduced

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26 thoughts on “Kindness matters in marriage…plus a DIY project to remind you that speaking with hubby is talking to Jesus

  1. Love your artwork! So cute and creative.

    “Be kind.” That is such fantastic advice, Sheila. The simplest things can also be the most profound. Sometimes when I look at my husband and me and wonder about our wrinkles and weight gains and memory lapses, I like to remind myself at how kind my sweet Jeff is, and how if everything else were to be stripped away, his kindness is reason enough to love him. Thanks for prompting me to remember that once again.

    • You’re so welcome, Lisa. And your sentiments are beautiful. Loving the man for who he is not for how he looks or what he does. Perfect! and pleasing to Father. Hugs…

  2. What a neat idea as a visible reminder to speak words of kindness over each other. It’s all to easy to forget to be kind to the ones you live with whilst concentrating on being kind to the strangers that you meet.

    • Absolutely, Anita. That’s why we did this project. And I hang mine on the side of the refrigerator where I can see it each time I do the dishes or get a drink from our water purifier. I am a forgetful sheepling who needs prompts!! 🙂

  3. Love this, Sheila. I am so thankful to you for the messages you share on marriage. They are so needed. Hubs and I are going through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace course at our church and I love how it has led to daily great conversations between the two of us . . . even when it’s harder topics to cover. We’ve been having conversations full of grace. I’m all smiles! Love my man!! It takes work and having some sort of visual reminder for those harder moments is such a great idea.
    Blessings. xoxo

    • Thanks, Beth. And yes, we all need helps as we travel through the harder places of marriage and life. Michael and I have looked into Dave Ramsey’s wisdom and one of the things we do to keep on track financially, besides prayer, is having a weekly finance meeting. At first the numbers seemed boring to me, but now I see it as another way of honoring God and He is faithful. Hugs…

  4. Thanks for this great reminder that the one who is closest to our heart often gets the heat. “Lord, set a watch over my mouth.” Linking up with you at Grace and Truth and very thankful for your words of wisdom on this Friday.

  5. Such an important word for us in these days, not only to our husbands and families, but to all those we meet, care for, stand behind in the grocery line, etc. Kindness can make such a difference in the way someone else feels about themselves or about their day, and it opens my heart to be kind to more people as I encounter them. I feel blessed.
    I will look into the book as I have not heard of that one and it sounds good.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

  6. Sheila, this is such an important reminder! It’s so easy to let good old-fashioned kindness slide by us in the daily rush! And we lose it most easily with our husbands. I’m impressed that you could corral you hubby into a DIY CRAFT project. I have a WONDERFUL man, but I don’t think he’d go for that! Talking about kindness, he’d be willing to do. 🙂 #GraceandTruth

  7. This is fantastic! What a GREAT way to be reminded of kindness in marriage! Thank you for sharing this! (stopping by from Grace & Truth Link Up)

  8. What a brilliant and beautiful reminder! I love your creativity expressed here, Sheila. And it may seem like a simple thing to be kind to our beloved spouse; don’t we love them dearly, after all? But it’s also true that we always hurt the ones we love just because we feel safe enough to be real with them, warts and all. These words reveal how important is is to know what your own partner requires as we aim to be kind and caring by finding:”ways to show each other kindness that directly speaks to our individual hearts.” Yes, indeed! Thank you for more wise words to help enrich and build marriages. They are always very needful. Bless you. 🙂 x

    • I think we NEED the most reminders to be kind, or respectful, or grateful or loving or forgiving towards our spouses. We can, even in the best of marriages, take our partners for granted, yet kindness must begin at home. Thanks for all you kind words always, Joy. You are a great and faithful encourager to my heart…HUGS and BLESSINGS…

  9. How richly we’ve been lavished with the kindness of God! Thank you for this encouragement toward developing kindness in our relationships. I’m glad you linked up with us at Grace & Truth. 🙂