9 practical ways to serve your husband… Part 3 in the Be a Better Helper series


Are you able to humbly ask your husband, How may I help you?

Serving our husbands equates to serving God. And more than anything else my passion is to serve God in loving obedience. So I cultivate a heart that wants to help my man.

For there was a time, in that former life of darkness I once lived, when serving was a foreign concept to me. Although I admit I enjoyed and expected to be served.

But then God in His mercy towards me opened my heart. Thank you, Father!

He showed me that He sent Jesus to reveal to us His Father’s heart towards us and show us what He is like.

Jesus served.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant…
Philippians 2:3-7

Great God-King bending low. Willingly. In love. And that’s how He wants us to serve our men.

And meaning it from the heart because God is always most concerned about our hearts, not just an outward display of right behavior.

If you’re grudgingly going through the motions…if your heart gets huffy at the thought serving then you may need to go to the mattresses with Father and battle the darkness within so that light and love and life can pour forth from you.


First step to better serving
Confess that you don’t. Or that you don’t want to. Maybe confess your pride? Laziness, too? And I always ask God to show me why I sin the way I do. What’s the root of my poor choice. It helps me gain wisdom in my battle against the ugly that rears in me at times. Maybe you don’t want to serve your man because you resent him on some level? Maybe you don’t want to serve any man ever because your dad or some other man hurt you badly? Maybe you view it as an insult to your womanhood? Remind yourself that Jesus washed dirty, stinking feet.

Step 2: Pray and read
Ask Father to soften and change your heart. Then adopt the mind of Christ and change your thinking about serving. Ask the Holy Spirit to remind you that serving is a good thing. God loves good things! Read the One Another scripture verses.

Step 3: Study your man
What makes him tick? What helps him most on a stressful day? What chore does he dread doing that you can take over? What can you do for him before he even realizes he needs it? Look for ways to pre-empt your husbands requests for help. 


Here are some practical ways I choose to serve my husband. {As with each post in the Be a Better Helper series I ask Michael, How am I doing? Some of the actions on this list were things that serve him that I wasn’t aware of. As always, check with your man!}

  • I’ll ask him several times a day Is there anything I can do to help you? Especially when I know he is stressed about something.
  • When I head into town for weekly grocery shopping {a chore he very much dislikes} I inquire if there is anything he needs, or if there is an errand I can run for him.
  • I schedule his appointments.
  • I take time from what I am busy doing if Michael needs something or just wants a moment to chat.
  • We work from home so during the day I might bring him a snack or a glass of water before he asks.
  • Sometimes in the mornings, when he wants to sleep in just a tiny bit, he likes it if I am by his side. I may be ready to get the day going but gladly snuggle while he catches a few more zzz’s and I use the time to pray for family and friends.
  • I serve my husband by being kind and patient and purposing to listen before answering or jumping in.
  • I remember the things around the house he really likes and try to do them…like not leaving dishes sitting in the sink too long. {Mind you, he doesn’t demand they get done or berate me when they sit all morning, but I know that it makes his heart feel calmer when things are neat. And truly, it’s a very small act of love on my part.}
  • I also serve him with my words letting the teaching of kindness fall softly from my lips by cheering him on when he feels overwhelmed, offering my wisdom when asked about something and by making my man laugh. He thinks my quirkiness, as he puts it, is very funny!


I hope these tips will help you serve your husband better, making the life of the one you love most in all the world a little bit easier and sweeter. Serving is love in action. It also shows respect for the one served. And it indeed flows from wife to husband and from husband to wife, mutually. My Michael has taught me much about serving!

Challenge yourself to help your husband more and take joy when you can tell him already taken care of! And remember, we all serve unto Jesus. That’s the life changer right there.

And let quietness and confidence be your strength with love leading the way and serve in secret whenever you can.

It pleases Dad…

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Be a Better Helper series:

Part 1: Pray for him
How you and I can help our husbands more this year

Part 2: Respect him
Is your husband starving for respect?

Let your husband know he’s welcome and wanted

Baby-stepping your way to respect with 11 tips for honoring your husband


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16 thoughts on “9 practical ways to serve your husband… Part 3 in the Be a Better Helper series

  1. This is a fantastic list. My husband and I have been married for less than a year, he is really quite excellent at serving others and I have learned so much from him. I’m excited to continue studying him and learning how I can serve him best. Thanks for sharing this wisdom!

  2. Loved this post Sheila! I want to read them all! I need this so much! Sometimes I don’t know how to act and continue serving my husband. I have so many questions about this. Thanks for sharing and encouraging me today! I’m linking up too with you in Women with Intention.

    Tayrina from TGAWrites

  3. “It’s time to take it to the mattresses” I love that quote and idea. Thanks for this reminder about serving our husbands. Sometimes we can get so caught up in doing our own thing and even serving our kids that hubby gets the leftovers and that is never fun! These are some great things to remember!

    Thank you!

    • Absolutely, Rachel. Never fun when husband goes to the bottom of the list. And truly, when the marriage falters in anyway, the kids suffer. Glad your enjoyed the reminders 🙂

  4. Thank you for sharing this post and the ideas. I will definitely have to bookmark your blog and read the other related posts to this one! Thanks again and God bless!