Beginning again in marriage with new hope in your heart…You’re not an orphan after all you belong! Final in Orphan Spirit series.


They began again with new hope in their heart.

Desiring all God has for them in marriage.

Blessings and joy, tender companionship, special moments shared, laughter long into the night, calm and still and made for lovers.

Willing their hearts fearful to open more fully to receive. And roots of their love digging down deeper.

Them becoming transparent and no longer trembling. Real.

Brave enough to share and hear the truth knowing it sets them free.

Changing their thinking, him and her, and choosing to always ascribe the best possible motives to the other. And just saying no to all the negativity, doubts, and dreary lies of an enemy always laying traps.


Trusting they are loved by God, knowing they belong to Him and each other, they chose to trust God as beloved children wanted.

God loving them perfectly. God capable of cultivating Christ-like behavior in each of them. Him meeting every pressing care and unspoken need.

He will never let them down.

So they let each other off the hook.

Forgiving and forgetting the unloving words and actions. Asking God to rid their thoughts of all that was not excellent.

Relying more on grace truly amazing. Grace that sweeps in bright like morning sunshine streaming in cloudless skies after a thundering rainstorm all night.


And slipping into each other’s moccasins they weave compassion and empathy for their differences many as they travel the miles together.

Filling moment by moment and hearts overflowing and the Holy Spirit guiding. With new fire in their souls, love aflame in their hearts.


Deciding to act like they really believe that what they do and say to each other they do and say to Jesus.

For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’
Matthew 25: 34-40

And spouses should be the furthest from the least of them for they are each other’s one flesh self.

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church.
Ephesians 5:29

United they picked up each other’s wounded heart and tucked it safely inside their own. Protected.

And praised God. And praise Him continually. God inhabits the praises of His people.

A marriage inhabited by Christ shows the world love at its truest and highest.


They threw away the orphan blackboards of their hearts upon which they had written every stinking sin and failure in themselves, the other and their marriage.

There is therefore now no condemnation. Forgive as you have been forgiven.

And they installed instead a clean white board covered with five letters red.


And after many wrong choices they chose obedience over feelings when feelings ran amuck.

Rising above by remembering words of truth tucked deep and pressed down strong. Words proved true in all the trying and testing of circumstances dire.


And they celebrated. For marriage is worth celebrating!

God raining down blessings and reigning over all.

Faithful and good, Him disciplining in love ever patient and kind for their best and His highest good.

Healing them through the hurts and the hard. Rewarding obedience in ways they never imagined would come true.

Nevertheless He looked upon their distress
When He heard their cry;
And He remembered His covenant for their sake,
And relented according to the greatness of His lovingkindness.
He also made them objects of compassion.
Psalm 106:44-46

And faith swallowed their captors crippling and them striding forward, strongly tethered, fearless and free.

Finding freedom on the other side of fear. Giants toppled. Milk and honey flowing into their marriage growing.

Determinedly pursuing first things first, diving into God’s Word and sin drowning, gulping grace and the Spirit supplying power to change.

Unsettled now at rest.

And all is grace…

Sheila Signature Reduced

READ the entire Orphan Spirit series by clicking below.

Part One — Are you out of control in your marriage because you feel like an orphan?

Part Two — You’re not an orphan even if you felt like one in childhood. God loves you.

Part Three — Overcoming an orphan spirit improves your marriage with 13 healing scriptures

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33 thoughts on “Beginning again in marriage with new hope in your heart…You’re not an orphan after all you belong! Final in Orphan Spirit series.

  1. Well said!
    Learning more about God’s love helps us learn to love others…even our spouses! Sometimes those we love most and are closest to get the worst of us instead of the best. We feel comfortable saying things to them that we would never say to anyone else. We get easily annoyed with them. We act “ugly”.
    But learning about God’s love can transform us and how we deal with others. Knowing we are not orphans can help us feel secure enough to extend love to others even when they are not being lovable to us.

    • We all can be “ugly” to our nearest and dearest but when we really get it that our VERY nearest and dearest is our LORD and that our “ugly” is directed first to Him it helps us want to become BEAUTIFUL! Thanks…

  2. “Healing them through the hurts and the hard. Rewarding obedience in ways they never imagined would come true.” So inspiring and so true!

    Remarried and we are working on healing past our hurts suffered at other’s hands. So thankful God has blessed me with this husband and this opportunity to be married again, and get it right [placing God first].

    I’m linking up with Kelly on #RaRalinkup today also.

    Blessings RaRa friend!

    • Dear Jana — I am with you all the way. We are remarried too — 43 months as of today!! 🙂 And we work on our marriage every day. We too suffered at other’s hands and from our own poor, sinful choices. But we are whole heartedly determined to enjoy this marriage {which we do 98% of the time!!} and make it shine for Him. Glad to connect with you thru #RaRaLinkup {I love that group!!}. Looking forward to getting to know you! Hugs and blessings…

  3. Sheila, this was truly an amazing post! So incredibly beautiful and encouraging! Thank you so much for this, my friend! I speak love and infinite blessing over your life! 🙂

    #RaRaLinkup 😉

  4. Such rich gleanings here, Sheila! And wonderful, insightful, liberating, life-changing Truth. We can only fully love one another when we have a deep inner revelation of how much God loves us. Yet so many struggle to completely believe in and receive His love. There is much to savour here; I think I may have to return to read it all again. These words are especially helpful and hopeful for me:”Healing them through the hurts and the hard…Finding freedom on the other side of fear. Giants toppled. Milk and honey flowing into their marriage growing.” May it be so! Thank you for this beautifully written word of encouragement. 🙂

    • You are so welcome, Joy. And be assured that getting to know you and reading your words deeply bless me! We are all in this together…the healing of our hearts and making our marriages ever stronger and more joyful. And God is for us in this…we shall prevail! And we shall continue to encourage one another daily!! Love and hugs…

  5. I love the beauty of all you described above-beauty among the uncertainties but always coming back to love. I will have to go back and check out the rest of your series. I always love coming here to read and soak in your words. Blessings!

    • Thank you so much, Mary. And it is always good to hear from you and to read your words, too. You bless me in your obedience to God. And in your tender heart. Yes, please come back often. We’ll sit and share a cup of tea {or coffee!}. Blessings, love and hugs…

  6. Sheila, reading this put a smile on my face. I love the way it flows and builds and ends with such joy. And such a good reminder of the beauty of a marriage where God is first.

    • And it is only with God first that we can have a beautiful marriage. And He is so faithful even when we stumble in pride or fear or hurts. Always picking us up and giving us hope which leads to joy in His good gift of marriage. Thanks, Gayl.

  7. Oh, Sheila, I just loved this so much. As I read it was as though I was reading the story of my own journey in marriage from what it was before Christ and beginning again with new hope in our hearts because of Him. Such good words. Blessings to you. xoxo

    • Thank you, Beth. And I think in a longterm marriage there will be a thousand beginnings again, and falling in love a new but always underscored by our faith in Christ unwavering. Love hearing from you and reading your FB updates! Thanks, my friend. Many blessings and lots of love!!!

  8. You had me here, Sheila:
    “So they let each other off the hook.”
    That is SO important in our relationships, to not keep each other obligated and under a payback system. Thanks for your faithfulness in sharing marriage advice. Good stuff.

  9. I love this line…

    “Forgiving and forgetting the unloving words and actions. Asking God to rid their thoughts of all that was not excellent.”

    28 years of marriage… I love him more today than I did when I said I do… forgiveness and taking captive one’s thoughts are key

    Blessings to you

    • Forgiveness is indeed huge, Danise, and then not keeping record of wrongs, since both are wrong at one time or another. So so so glad to hear your endorsement of lifelong marriage and so so so happy for you and your hubby. That is something I don’t know having been divorced, but Michael and I are indeed deeper in love after three and half years than we were in the early days. God is so good!

  10. “Desiring all God had for them in marriage…” I want that to be me and my spouse some day! I’m not married yet, but I love reading great advice from those who are. Blessings, Sheila!

    • How wise you are, Laura, to be “studying” for this most important and blessed assignment.So glad you stopped by! And FYI — I just launched a free monthly newsletter called Single Saturday for single, single again women and single moms. I will send you and email with an invite in case you may be interested. Blessings…

  11. Sheila, you seriously bless me over and over again. Much of what you are writing about in terms of marriage are things I am thinking about. They are things I am thinking I really want to do – but things that I keep on dropping the ball on. Thank you for this message. It truly is BEAUTIFUL. I cheer you from the #RaRalinkup on Purposeful Faith. Way to go on this.

    • Kelly — can’t thank you enough for you consistent encouragement. It means much and you are a gifted encourager who blesses many. And I am so glad you sent me that Tweet inviting me to #RaRaLinkup. I truly love the group!

      Thank you for the kind words about this marriage post. No matter what we are called to do with our calling — writing, speaking, teaching — God wants us to keep first-things-first — our relationship with Him is #1 and our marriage is #2. So often when I write I am processing reality for me and my marriage and I keep practicing what I preach, sometimes re-reading my own posts, until I get it right. For if I fail at love — that greatest commandment — then no matter what else I may do well, it will count for nothing.

      Sending you love and encouragement in all you do and cheering you on in your most important earthly relationship. xxoo