Overcoming an orphan spirit improves your marriage…with 13 scripture verses to heal your heart…Part 3 in the Orphan Spirit series


You’ve always been right there for me;
    don’t turn your back on me now.
Don’t throw me out, don’t abandon me;
    you’ve always kept the door open.
My father and mother walked out and left me,
    but God took me in.
Psalm 27:10

Jesus will love you forever and never let you go no matter how many others in your life left you.

By His grace you can be more than a conqueror and you can overcome and the time has come for you to lay down your weapons of choice which can be words or fists or power struggles for control. Or addictions that often lead to the grave one way or another.

And become an overcomer through Christ and in Christ alone.

And as your heart heals you will grow into a marriage partner who comes to the table full. Ready and able to give love and serve in love, instead of needing to take love.

Counselors and sermons and self-help books are all helps along the way but the one thing that changes you through and through is the One. The One who whispers in your ear you belong to Me.

For in the family of God you do belong.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.
John 3:16-17

When you realize that God loves you like crazy and will never let you go then your heart softens and you melt into His arms, surrendering your life to Him.

Desiring to obey Him.

Getting to know Him by spending healing time with Him in prayer and reading the Bible.

Taking His truth into your heart and mind, replacing all the old tapes. The lies.

Becoming the spouse He has created you to be.

Because the One on high He stooped low leaning His ear into the frantic beating of your frightened heart. And He soothes your soul with love that is good and kind and patient and full of Yes and Amen.

Accept the truth that God loves you. God really loves you. You are a delight of great worth to Him.

I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness.
Jeremiah 31:3

Believe it. You don’t have to live like you are outside the family anymore.

I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of My hands.
Isaiah 49:15-16


You are not an orphan no matter even if you were left at birth on a doorstep or stepped upon and kicked around and abandoned in your growing up years.

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
John 14:18

For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons {and daughters} by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!”
Romans 8:15

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:1

You and me. We are not orphans.

Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are Mine.
Isaiah 43:1

So run free and fearless in the sunshine letting it warm your wounds away. Letting Love set you free.

Free to create the loving, intimate bond of marriage where one man loves one woman for life.

Free to raise the next generation healthier than you were. Serene and secure.

Free to forgive all those who hurt you, to forgive them all their bad — Yes! forgiving even when you feel what was done to you is unforgivable.

And in forgiving your offenders you will be free.

But Jesus was saying, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.”Like God forgives and loves us so must we. Luke 23:34

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:32

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Matthew 6:14

But refusing to forgive those who hurt you keeps you in prison and the bitterness poisons you and your marriage rotten.

So don’t push the past into a closet where skeletons rattle in the night and you sweat it out in your own strength. Surrender to the One who can and does make all things new, all things better.




Hope in Christ. He is your Deliverer, Savior, Healer, Friend.

His love helps you to stop repeating old cycles and end the abuse of those closest to your heart like your husband, wife and children. Or sometimes your siblings or elderly parents, perhaps?

Your fear and hurt churn anger into what you think is power, but you are only reacting to life circumstances and are actually powerless in all your rage.

But every moment is a new beginning and you can be power-full with Christ.

Take His hand?

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33 thoughts on “Overcoming an orphan spirit improves your marriage…with 13 scripture verses to heal your heart…Part 3 in the Orphan Spirit series

  1. I laid awake last night thinking and it wasn’t long before satan tried to sneak in and bring discord to my thoughts. Instead of getting worked up (as I usually do) I turned to God in prayer. I focused on HIS love and power and before long I was sleeping again.
    He is a good God. Hiding His Words in our hearts has the power to change even the most convincing of satans arguments into praise for our Savior.
    Satan is a liar! God’s Word is truth and what He says about us is true!

  2. This is such a timely post for me as I aim to overcome the wounds of the past, live in the freedom of God’s love and believe He is making my marriage all it can be in Him. There’s so much wisdom here that it’s hard to choose one thing that stands out. But these words speak deep:”So run free and fearless in the sunshine letting it warm your wounds away. Letting Love set you free.” Oh yes, please! Thank you, Sheila, for this lovely reminder of the riches we already have in Christ and the encouragement to believe and receive them. Bless you. 🙂 x

    • Thank you, Joy, and I am glad again that my words speak healing to your heart. The way YOUR poems speak to my heart!! We are all on a journey of healing together and we help each other along the way. BELIEVE…our faith so pleases dear Jesus. Hugs <3

  3. Oh Sheila, this is truly amazing! So much of this captured and encouraged my heart. I will be catching up on part 1 and 2 and staying tuned for the rest of the series as well. This is the best post that I’ve read this morning thus far. Thank you for sharing this! Infinite blessings to you, Love! 🙂

    #RaraLinkup 😉

    • You are very kind and generous and I thank you. I am grateful to God for giving me an opportunity to share. Blessings and love to you, Tai. And I LOVE reading your words!! You have a beautiful site!!

  4. This is a powerful series. Far too often do I fall (or have I too fallen) into feeling alone, left, stranded. But I am never alone and seeing all of these verses together are a tremendous reminder of that. His Presence is always with me.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

    • satan lies to us all. the. time. to discourage and weaken us. The Word of God is a powerful, life-giving weapon as well as a dearly beloved Love Letter to us His precious children. GOD LOVES YOU, LINDA. He’s crazy about you. And He will never stop!! You belong to Him. Forever… WooHoo!! xxoo

    • Thank you, Lyli! And yes, I am sure He is trying to get your attention so that you He will never leave you, He will love you forever. YOU, Lyli, are so very precious to God. His heart is ever for you. May He bless you with healing grace and lots of love. Hugs!!

  5. Hi Sheila, Jesus certainly is our Healer, deliverer, friend and Savior. Thank heaven for that. I love the print you have in bold below this that says your fear and hurt churn anger into what we think is power… so true. It is only our lack of trust in Jesus. My word this year is trust and I intend to walk in His ways more closely so that I hear His voice directing me.

    I love that you are a mentor, Shelia. I’m a Christian Life Coach. Looking forward to getting to know you better. Blessings to you.

    • Hello Kim…my one word this year is FREEDOM and that comes from pressing in tightly and choosing to obey even when your feelings tell you otherwise. So we are on a similar journey. I look forward to getting to know you, too. Will be looking for you on Twitter! Thanks so much for adding your thoughts.

  6. mmm … yes. The lack of forgiveness poisons the well, one bitter thought, one angry recall at a time. Praise God for the freedom He gives us when we begin heading down a new path of releasing the one who has wronged us so …

    • Corrie ten Boom, and she should know! — “Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred.” And life and marriage is a series of forgivenesses, some small, other huge, but always given with the thought that HE HAS FORGIVEN ME! Thanks, Linda.

    • God is our absolute, ultimate healer. Over the years I have seen counselors and read Christian self-help books BUT it has always been my time in God’s Word and then allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to my deep places that truly heals and changes me!! Thanks, Jenni.

  7. Hi – I’m here from Messy marriage.

    This really resonates with me – we have a sanctuary for abandoned and abused dogs (mainly Pit Bulls).

    As I write this, there are fifteen dogs sleeping within about ten feet. Another ten are in other rooms.

    They’ve had hard, burning roads to walk, and now they’re safe.

    • Hi Andrew — yes, I’ve read many of your thoughtful comments at Beth’s. Thanks for stopping by to share. And thanks for helping those sweet pups. Year ago I had a large Rhodesian Ridgeback mutt who had been abused and it takes lots of love, patience and no expectations in the beginning. But the safety of LOVE rebuilds all our broken places, and their’s. Thanks!

  8. I felt like an orphan throughout my life, even though both of my parents are still alive. I don’t speak to my dad and my mom had some other issues that caused her to not always be present. It wasn’t until I somewhat recently became a Christian that I lost that uncomfortable orphan feeling. My marriage suffered from my past issues, but it’s thriving much more today. This is finally me too: “Ready and able to give love and serve in love, instead of needing to take love.” What a wonderful series you are doing here. Thank you for this encouragement, Sheila! I think you will help many, myself included.

    • Thank you, Candace, for these words. Whenever I hear that my words are helping another it truly blesses my heart because my passion is to see people set free in Christ, through the power of His Love. To escape from the darkness of their past and their own sinful choices. And then start walking and living an entirely new way in Him and by Him and through Him. Looking forward to getting to know and read you a little more. Thanks for sharing and many blessings as you live out Jesus in your life now…

    • Thank you so much, Anita. I truly pray that all hearts everywhere would be healed by the power of God’s love. Bless you, my friend, and I am glad you found it encouraging. God’s word is alive with healing and freedom…

  9. I love your heartbeat, Sheila! And such a powerful post, my friend! I love, in particular, your words, “… The one thing that changes you through and through is the One.” I had to share in the Twittersphere! Hugs to you, sweet friend!

  10. In my quiet time during this #OperationRest, I have been deliberately trying to absorb His love. I spent so long trying to earn it, even though I knew it was free. But knowing in your mind and knowing in your heart are two different things!

    • Two VERY different things. And God is so intent on changing our hearts for that is when true change comes and lasts. Keep resting, dear friend. And listening with an open heart. And letting go of whatever you may be holding onto that is not what God wants you to cling to. Sending you love and hugs!

  11. “Your fear and hurt churn anger into what you think is power, but you are only reacting to life circumstances and are actually powerless in all your rage.” You rock Sheila! Love your words and love that line. Cheering on your faithfulness and how you minister to my soul. Thank you for joining the #RaRalinkup; I can’t imagine it without you.

    • And I am so blessed to be on this Jesus journey with you and all those other truly lovely sisters at #raralinkup. God gifted me that day you Tweeted!! Honored to be a Christ cheerleader-in-arms with you, my sister friend!! xxoo

  12. Sheila, I keep meaning to ask if you’ve done the program, Sonship? It’s through World Harvest Mission (now called Serge) and goes through the orphan vs. son paradigm. My husband and I are doing it and LOVE it. Such a great process.