Anger builds a wall in marriage and only God can help you tear it down…


When one of my sons was little he would throw tantrums terrible.

And there were moments that I needed to sit and hold him in his rage to help calm the raging storm inside.

And I would pray over him and for him and I whispered these words over and over.

Let go of your anger.

And the little child in each of us grows up at least outwardly. Inside though, in the secret places, we are stunted and often steaming.

Anger churns and chews and we spit out bile that is vile.

And I am sure that God is whispering to our hearts.

Let go of your anger.

So why do we hold on so tight to the anger that boils within?

We are fearing. And hurting. Feeling frustrated or disrespected. Often unforgiving. Maybe we are all these things.


And maybe those things began taking hold of us when we were innocent, unprotected children in homes where we were not held, homes that were only houses and four walls where people banged up against each other.

And the bruises went deep from blue to black and all of it festering over time. Painful.

Until we get married with stars in our eyes expecting that our spouse will make our hearts all better. Anticipating a happily ever after.

But the honeymoon ends and the ugly comes knocking as old patterns are repeated expecting new results that never come until we get our hearts renewed.

God knocks at the door of our heart. And only He can heal our hurts all the way down deep.

Only as we accept His love and forgiveness can we be set free.

So that we can let go of our anger.

And let God direct our lives to places better than we have ever known before.

One day at a time until we are at home in the place where hurts are no more.


But what happens when we refuse God’s offer?

We harden our hearts against Him and our spouse.

We harden like cement to protect our tender spots against further hurts. But that’s like spiritual arteriosclerosis and the pathway of love from our hearts to the rest of our body — to our spouse — stiffens and constricts.

And this gives us heart problems.

Hurts our relationship with our husband or wife, weakening the bonds of marriage.

Even making a marriage die.

For there is life in the blood, but not when it clots, when it gets dammed up behind a wall of hurt.

And we waste so much time trying to prove our points when we should be looking up to the One who points us in the right direction.

To the Father’s heart.

A heart that suffered worse than we ever have and yet chose to forgive and keep moving forward for the glory ahead.


Our forgiving others their trespasses sets our hearts free. Enables our hearts to move past the hurt and the hard to the place where true love and honor and trust can flourish.

Free from the anger, the fear, the pain. Free to love and be loved in a way that honors God who loved me and you so much He chose to die for us.

We will only ever let go of our anger as we hang onto Him and trust His heart.

Isn’t it time you just. let. go?

And when you do be assured of this one thing.

He will catch you. And keep you always…

Sheila Signature Reduced


SK Subscribe



Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

2 thoughts on “Anger builds a wall in marriage and only God can help you tear it down…