God placed you in your family — the one that hurt you — on purpose and that affects your marriage…

It is this God whom you are worshipping in ignorance that I am here to proclaim to you! God who made the world and all that is in it, being Lord of both Heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by human hands, nor is he ministered to by human hands, as though he had need of anything—seeing that he is the one who gives to all men life and breath and everything else. From one forefather he has created every race of men to live over the face of the whole earth.

He has determined the times of their existence and the limits of their habitation, so that they might search for God, in the hope that they might feel for him and find him—yes, even though he is not far from any one of us.

Indeed, it is in him that we live and move and have our being. Some of your own poets have endorsed this in the words, ‘For we are indeed his children’. If then we are the children of God, we ought not to imagine God in terms of gold or silver or stone, contrived by human art or imagination. Now while it is true that God has overlooked the days of ignorance he now commands all men everywhere to repent (because of the gift of his son Jesus). For he has fixed a day on which he will judge the whole world in justice by the standard of a man whom he has appointed. That this is so he has guaranteed to all men by raising this man from the dead.”
Acts 17:23-31 J.B. Phillips

He has determined the times of your existence and the limits of your habitation, so that you might search for God, in the hope that you might feel for him and find him—yes, even though he is not far from you or any one of us.

God knows what He is doing even when you don’t for His ways and thoughts are so much higher than yours.

And that family He placed you in? That crazy, dysfunctional family with parents or other relatives who were broken and hurt you badly?

It was on purpose.

So that YOU might search for Him who is holy, Him who holds you in His hands even when you do not feel it, Him who loves you when you scream in the dark that cuts your heart in pieces telling Him that you hate Him.

And you and me — we may not understand all His choices, but we can trust His heart. And mine beats more in sync with His one day at a time.

We all have our stuff, don’t we? Some of us have lots to recover from that originated in childhood. And it can be really bad, no doubt. And from the pain, loss and brokenness we learned and lived loveless lies. We grow up wounded.

And how that hurts marriages. And our babies.

But there can be healing in the most broken of lives when we choose to call out to God and press into Him, getting to know Him as we spend time in prayer and reading His Word.

Bible truth trumps all the lies we still believe. And reading God’s word changes neural pathways renewing the way we think about life.

And those wretched lies that dictate our choices, our feelings and the ways in which we relate to those we say we love most.

Like husbands.

And wives. Children and parents. Our love is lacking because it’s tainted until it’s washed pure and true by His blood.

We can change our lives for the better no matter where or how we started in life. We can let go of the past and grow up, changing our relationships with our spouses and others.

And God, He even allows us to use our pain to help those who have or are going through the things we have experienced.

Redeeming our own pain.

I know that your heart hurts badly but will you choose to let go of your anger with God because your mom or dad failed you? With compassion can you see that they are broken hurting children, too?

And if you say you love and appreciate your husband — or your wife — why not start living it in your words and actions?

Why not choose forgiveness? Why not choose love?

Why not call out to Jesus right this minute and ask for His help?

He is only a whispered prayer away…

Is your marriage falling apart? Has your marriage ended? Are you wracked with pain over your brokenness? A free mentoring session can help.

Sheila Kimball Mentoring encourages you to heal your heart and move forward from where you are today to a much better life based in an abiding relationship with God. CLICK my image now to get started on healing your heart and mending your marriage or life.

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2 thoughts on “God placed you in your family — the one that hurt you — on purpose and that affects your marriage…

  1. Beautiful post Sheila! Because I felt so wounded when I was younger, and then married a man who was an alcoholic and couldn’t give me what I needed, I lived a very resentful and bitter life for many years. One day, my therapist said to me, “When are you going to stop looking at your father as your father and start looking at him as a person?” When I was able to do that, I stopped blaming him for everything, realizing that even though he made mistakes, he was still trying to muddle through life, just like me. Jesus walked through so much with me and I am so grateful that he redeemed me and transformed me into a loving wife today! Thanks for this.

    • Thanks so much, Mary. And I love what you said quoting your therapist. So true! Our parents may have hurt us but they were hurt “children” too. We are all so broken. We all need Jesus. Thanks for a great testimony. And I sent you an email asking if you would copy and post this wonderful comment on my Longings End FB page so ever more wives can read it. Thanks and blessings…