When it looks like all your marriage ducks are in a row beware you’re not headed for the shoals…

SAILBOAT Copyright 2013 Sheila Kimball

So all is serene.

Wind and waves that tossed your marriage violently have calmed down and your spirits are soaring.

And you have stopped fighting with your man.

Perhaps you finally got your mortgage up to date, staving off foreclosure, and you feel safe again.

Maybe you or your husband landed a new job after months and months of unemployment and you feel elated, finally secure now that circumstances have changed for the better.

Perhaps your son or daughter got into some kind of trouble and you’ve been at odds over how to handle discipline. But God and his grace — so often in your favor — gave you both hearts to see more clearly and agree on how to best love your child through their bad. The way God loves you.

Or maybe those test results you were waiting for, the ones that had you fearful, sleepless and irritable, came back with the all clear and you breathe a sigh of relief.


Your marital ducks are all in a row and with no apparent circumstantial ripples it looks like smooth sailing ahead in a marriage nearly sunk by rough swells.

Yet below the surface may lurk a monster untamed and unchanged, yet momentarily placated.

Yes, you’ve stopped blowing your top now that your problems seem to have blown away.

Yes, you feel happier, secure and more peaceful than you have in a long time.

Yes, your husband is breathing easier since you stopped breathing fire at him.

But beware.


While the sun shines on the surface, shadows out of sight are satan’s hiding places and he is waiting to devour and destroy you and your marriage.

Danger lurking in the deep.

So unless the changes in your heart have gone deep to those places sinful, hurting and angry then hazard may lie ahead and you are heading for the rocks.

Do not be deceived.

For if you merely change the stressful circumstances of your marriage without repairing the cracks in your hull then peace will not last. Inside you are still in pieces fooling yourself that all is well with your soul.

To pilot a new course towards Home you need to redirect your rudder with true repentance and focus on Christ not the shifting circumstances.


He is the only safe harbor.

Christ the Lord and the Light of the world shines brightly no matter how stormy the waters churn. And He never changes no matter how much we flux.

So don’t build your house on the sand for it can be swept away in a split second. Instead tend to first things first and rebuild on the Rock.


Then in good times and bad you will keep an even keel — no more ups and downs based on situations or swirling emotions.

Fill your sails with fresh wind of the Holy Spirit, let waves of grace wash over you and sink your sins, and keep your salt salty.

And your husband’s heart will find safe anchor in your steadfast love…

All our longings end in love.

Please share this post with someone who needs to read these words.

MKS Headshot POSTAGE STAMP Do you recognize yourself in the words of this post? Maybe God is calling to you to go deeper with Him for long lasting change. Talking with someone can help and you may want to consider C2: Comfort & Conversation for women only. Click here for more information and contact me about a limited-time, discounted six-week package of services.

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