Marriage problems are big when love in your heart is small…

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The greatest of these is love but when we are at our worst in marriage it is because our love is very small.

And problems with our spouse keep looming larger as we continue to demand our own way.

Instead of surrendering and submitting to God’s way.

Thinking we are right and know all the answers and only seeing the worst in our husbands.

And when we take our eyes off of our Maker, our great God who designed marriage with that first garden wedding, and look only at what we feel is wrong in our husband then we allow fear to become our bedfellow.

Making for a very crowded and unhappy marriage.

We forget that we are ever to keep loving and acting in love, forever willing to forgive even when we don’t feel like it, ridding ourselves of those bad feelings that tear marriages and families apart.

And the bad feelings of anger out of control must be released as quickly as they come.  The sun cannot go down on anger for this emotion is too deadly a foe to feed and still control.

When the Lord reminds us that we are petting the dragon of anger we must let it go or else we cannot hope to forgive.

And so much of marriage is forgiveness.

And overlooking trivial things that annoy and separate us from our spouse, making allowances for them and them for us because we love each other.

Yet it will be impossible for us to do this outside of a true love relationship first with our Creator.

Everything flows from God. we love because God first loved us.

We get our hearts right with Him and purpose to live according to His way set forth in the Bible. Then we can work on our marriage failing.

Love can win the fight to be right. Love can hold you until your fears flee. Love is your only hope of healing.

For love casts out fear and love covers over a multitude of sins. Both his and yours, dear wounded wife.

So turn your eyes and heart to your Ultimate Healer, our Father in Heaven. The Holy Spirit is our best counselor. Time spent alone with God daily and then in prayer together with your spouse — both hearts set on pleasing God in everything — can set your marriage on a course of healing.

So can seeking out a marriage mentor or an older couple who has navigated the rough patches in marriage and survived.

Often marriage problems reach far back into our past, when we were very little, when we first got wounded by parents or others who themselves were wounded children. And we grow into adult children limping.

We get married and have babies and pass along unhealthy patterns of relating. And our babies grow up into adult children and the cycle begins again.

Until we realize this and determine to live God’s way.

For all of us desperately want and need to be loved and to love, filling the void in our souls, yet without a clue as to how we should be loving our God and our spouse who is our nearest neighbor.

Sometimes we have to look back over our drooping shoulder and revisit the painful places with the help and grace of God and others. We have to choose to forgive those original {and current} offenders.

Then we must let go.

And discipline our heart to follow God closer than ever before. And it will hurt because our flesh loves to fight to be first.

So starve the dragon in your heart by feeding on the word of God and then LIVING the word of God to the best of your ability.

Grace will abound.

And your heart will heal with love and expand in love, and you will love and respect your husband more.

Shrinking those seemingly insurmountable marriage problems one day at a time…

~sheila

 

If you woman’s heart needs to talk one-on-one with a woman who has experienced and survived no small amount of pain and darkness, you may want to consider C2: Comfort and Conversation.

And if your heart is breaking? Or someone you know is hurting?
Purchase your copy of Heart Cry today by clicking here.

Heart Cry by Sheila Kimball

 

 

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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4 thoughts on “Marriage problems are big when love in your heart is small…

  1. Dear Sheila
    I had such a great “Ah-ha” moment the day I realized that the moment we experience love in our hearts towards God and anyone else, especially our enemies, it is always fist and foremost because Jesus has poured His love into our hearts by His Holy Spirit. It is so freeing not to strive to try and love God and others, knowing full well that without a our Pappa God we can just about do nothing!
    Blessings XX
    Mia

  2. Sheila,

    There is wisdom in the offering you are sharing. It is tinged with grace and hedged in by love. The seed of forgiveness is found in the love-token offered by God’s grace and it is there that the walls can fall, needs are met, and joy replaces the fear that keep us from that place of letting go.
    Thanks for sharing hope.
    Blessings!
    Dawn