When your marriage needs a resurrection…11 tips for breathing life into a dead marriage


Sometimes our bond of marriage gets all broken.

Love losing as we listen to lies as old as the garden and through the years selves sinful choosing self over the other and hearts hurting erecting walls to protect the tender inside festering.

Pride pointing fingers and pouting as it parades like a princess in a tarnished crown.

Strongholds holding us hard, bruising our heart.

Faded past reminding us of all the bad and all we see is death, darkness, no hope.

And after years of picking up pieces that only break again we may want to bury the remains of our marriage and move on.

Thinking that if we start over with someone new we’ll be happy.

But divorce is not the easy answer that some may think it is because all the old goes with us into a new relationship nailing us dead before we even begin.

ON THE CROSS Copyright 2013 Sheila Kimball

Yet all is made new on that old wooden cross.

And what we really need in our marriage is not a reason to run away but a resurrection of our willingness to do marriage God’s way and Christ risen rolls away our stony hearts, helping us humbly yield to God.

Us crucifying our own sins, not our mate’s, and second chances breathing new life into dead love.

For we are new creations if we are in Christ. And the power that raised Christ from the cave is the power that reigns in us. So let’s lay down our lives and every selfish thing we cling to and allow Him to lift us.

Christ our only hope of a happy marriage.

Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other.
~2 Corinthians 5:17

And Easter is the perfect time to slip off the death linens wedded and let love loose so we can really live, rebuilding our unity, our family, our future.

Love’s heart, with blood sweated and spilled, crying in agony to the Father, whose own heart stepped back broken watching His son slip into death by sin — ours — with nails pounding in place so that we could take our place in the heavenly realms.

Father, forgive them. They know not what they do.

Husbands and wives no different, not knowing either, when hearts are wrapped around themselves.

Enemy never gives up, gloating over a presumed win short lived and eager to score the death of our marriage. But the third day proved Christ’s victory and us choosing to forgive our husband or our wife extends His glory into our marriage dead.

And couples coming on bended knee, coming to life again.

CLINGING Copyright 2013 Sheila Kimball

Tips for resurrecting a dead marriage this Easter

Humble as you hush your heart and ask God to hold you.

Ask yourself how much you truly believe God. And how much you really love Him for love obeys God. Ask yourself if you really understand that God is crazy in love with you having gone to the ends of the earth at Golgotha just. for. you.

Dust off your Bible and read the Gospel of John every day for a month.

Like the tomb on Sunday, empty yourself by confessing your sins to God. Don’t even hint at what your mate does wrong.

Don’t be afraid to be the first one to admit you are a stinking sinner.

Go to your spouse and say you were wrong, you are sorry. Ask forgiveness.

And then be willing to forgive. To keep no record of marital wrongs. To stop being touchy for that only prolongs the suffering cycle.

Read 1 Corinthians 13 but don’t stop there. Start putting love into action by living those scriptures.

Pray with your spouse. Pray for your spouse. Every day.

Sit on the sofa after the kids are in bed. Hold hands and look into each others’ eyes. Tell them you love them and are committed to staying in the marriage — for better or worse.

Give them your word that you will stand on His Word in order to build a lifelong union.


***DISCLAIMER*** If you are in a truly dangerous and abusive marriage, please GET OUT and seek help.




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6 thoughts on “When your marriage needs a resurrection…11 tips for breathing life into a dead marriage

  1. Wise advice from one who has experienced both the pain of a broken marriage and the joy of a love-filled marriage…and all the trials and difficulties of both…

    Thank you, Sheila, for sharing these thoughts on the need for Christ’s resurrection power in our marriages.

  2. Been there – done that. His resurrection resurrected our marriage! Dropping by from Holley Gerth’s Coffee for Your Heart.

  3. Sheila…”Dust off your Bible and read the book of John for one month.” I love that! God’s Word will always come through for hearts in need of resurrection. I love that you humble yourself and share from your experience to help those who may be going through a tough time in their marriage. Thank you for sharing at WJIM’s Monday’s Musings. Have a blessed Resurrection Sunday.