How an “ugly” wife becomes a beauty queen…Part two, Frustrated Wife series


So she’s running down the road, trying to run the race but her walk falls far short of her talk so she falls to her knees.

Father, forgive me…

And once she sees the ugly in her unforgiving, disrespectful, judgmental lack of love, she can bring her broken pieces to the foot of the cross and start walking towards Him as He walks towards her.

His risen power perfected at Easter helping her rise from the ashes of her fire pit where her heart has burned hot wanting its own way, embers flickering as she moves aside letting Holy Breath extinguish sin’s blazing flame.

And all along she was thinking it was all his fault, that man she shares a name and bed with {and he bears responsibility, too, for the state of their marriage, but that is his and God’s business} and her blaming him is an ancient game engineered by a trickster devious, always casting doubt.

So on that road in her running away from life and all the problems she just can’t seem to face anymore, she drops humble and Humility opens the eyes of her heart and she sees a stone instead of flesh pulsing pink with life. And her reaching for fig leaves in His gaze, for her heart burns with shame, but there is no place to hide nor any reason for He sees all.

And loves her anyway.

All she can do is give up, and ask, and be…forgiven.

And this is step one on the road home to her Father’s heart, powerful with love divine that will not let her go especially when love lessons need to be learned. So she returns to where she first stepped off the narrow way to wander twisted down a dusty rabbit trail getting dirty and bruised. Heart crushed and crushing.

At the crossroads again she chooses the Cross.

CRUCIFIED Copyright 2013 Sheila Kimball (2)

The Way of freedom.

But before freedom comes Love that loves first and always. And for love to be learned so it can be shared in the Spirit in which it was given it must be received deeply.

Hearts hard, haughty and hurting act and feel ugly and unloved, not believing they are beautiful to the Beautiful One who looks at them with eyes of love and grace. And Him always calling softly, Come, my Beloved, come away with Me…

But she doesn’t come because maybe a long time ago — or just last night — a dad, former lover or husband abused her or left, taking with them the little love they had to give and her more the pauper. Empty and dry and searching but not yet seeking, and in her own strength running circles going nowhere and tearing her husband’s heart in two.

Her marriage in trouble, she thinks getting out of it will solve her problems.

But it won’t.

She can divorce the husband she thinks is the cause of her sorrow and suffering, but it’s her sin and selfishness that she needs to leave.

Then she can serve in love with joy and peace unsurpassed tucks her in at night for a sleep sound and sweet in Jesus.

And love longed for desperate has been there always just for the asking.

Opening of her heart and her Bible everyday to read the gospel words of Jesus, starting with John, she comes to know her Maker and in knowing trusts Him more. And knowing, trusting and loving God more she can love and respect her husband better.

And her faith believing, the substance of things hoped for become, and His love in lets her wounds and sin out.

Healed by His touch, making her holy and whole.

Coupled with her obedience, His love transforms an ugly wife into a true beauty, the queen of her husband’s heart, no more hurting him, but her gracious love helping him become more whole, too.

And instead of seeing his wrongs she sees the righteousness of Christ transforming him.

Her growing faith in the Lover of her soul making her soul to prosper. Real her residing inside getting stronger and her body being made better and maybe she’s not quite so tired having become so sick and tired of her sin she finally lets go of fearful control and demands demeaning.


As she opens to receive His love He takes her by the hand back to the garden where she falls in love with Jesus for the first time or perhaps more deeply, truly than ever before.

And it is this falling that helps her run strong.

His love in her eternal flows down like a mountain stream gushing with spring’s melt filling her heart so full there’s no room for hurt and sin is squashed and her love that is full of living water flows to that one darling man she spoke the promise to years before. The one she longs to have a beautiful life with.


But when she grows lazy or selfish the cares of this world and all the pressures mounting will press down dark and heavy — like fog shrouding a frozen pond that only the sun can burn away — squeezing the life of love out of her unless she makes the One her number one priority each day. So she seeks the Son at dawn’s first blush before the day gets away from her, peace shattered.

Stilled and sitting in His presence transforms her daily into her husband’s dearest gift.

For a wife can only be a beauty queen when her self abdicates the throne and she surrenders her entitlement and lays down her crown at the feet of her King. And her choice to spend time with Him in His word will be a love lift to her heart with changes more than skin deep for His word will wash her clean, without wrinkle or blemish.

And as a wife’s heart humbled rests secure in the hands of her Security she can let go, loving like never before, without the fear that fuels her anger and results in division.

Father’s heart smiling and her husband’s, too, and her prayers unhindered bringing Holy Spirit power to her marriage, once problem plagued.

In quietness and consistent confidence shall be her strength, and her robed in royal velvet with her prickles rubbed smooth will take her rightful place beside her husband. And he praises her and his heart trusting her, rests. And her children call her blessed.


Her longing to be loved just as she is will be complete in Christ who loves her completely, like crazy, no matter what.

And in Him her heart is home…

All our longings end in love

Part One Frustrated Wife series

Part Three Frustrated Wife series

Come back tomorrow for Part 3 of the Frustrated Wife series and true power — a list of scriptures that help a wife be all God wants her to be, words of truth that when believed and obeyed unfold miracles in the making for a marriage that goes the distance.

And if you found this post helpful, please consider sharing it. Thanks!


Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

12 thoughts on “How an “ugly” wife becomes a beauty queen…Part two, Frustrated Wife series

  1. Such a testimony here. You’re telling a story so many can relate to. I’m glad I linked up near you at #TellHisStory!

  2. I found your blog today and read the previous post on this and to thankful for women like you showing me how marriage can be and how to resolve issues putting out faith in God. I will be a wife next year and I know after living most of my life as a single professional and independent woman I am bound to make mistakes. So I am learning so much from the amazing Christian community I have found online.

    • You are wise, Maria, to be seeking God to learn from Christian wives how to best be your husband’s helper. Your words here: living most of my life as a single professional and independent woman I am bound to make mistakes… I heard last night while out with a single, professional Christian woman who is marrying at the end of this year. And I can relate for I was a single mom, independent, hard working woman for years before I got married to my Michael and it took some adjusting to let go and let my husband provide and lead and me learning to trust God and my husband to take care of all the things I formerly did for myself. Perhaps I will do a blog post on this topic since it keeps coming up. Blessings on your upcoming marriage and thanks for sharing your thoughts. Hope to see you back here sometime 🙂

  3. Good job, my friend, in showing the power and beauty of a yielded heart. A life not placed in his hands is running on empty.

  4. Wow. /i love love this. I am not married but still such a powerful reminder as I read your post. Thank you for these words. I especially loved this And as a wife’s heart humbled rests secure in the hands of her Security she can let go, loving like never before, without the fear that fuels her anger and results in division…
    beautiful! 🙂