Kisses in the kitchen and how not to have sex…



It was after I had frosted all the cupcakes chocolate, and him stealing two, before we turned in for the night.

Lights were low and he cranked the music loud. First Pablo Cruz and then Toto. And he took me in his arms, singing in my ear until he kissed me.

Right there in the kitchen.

And I silently thanked God.

For this one good man.

Our once-upon-a-dream-yet-grounded-in-reality marriage sweetly shared.

And for sharing life and Jesus as one.

Nuzzled against my husband’s neck I recalled another kitchen kiss, super steamy, just weeks before our July 2011 elopement.

We were home alone for but a brief time in his friend’s old farmhouse where I was staying during a visit.

When he kissed me the wanting started to sizzle.

He kissed me two times more, fanning the flame of desire in us both, and my knees began to wobble.

And then right there in that kitchen with the warm wood cabinets and hearth that had warmed my Michael on many a winter night, we stepped away from each other, putting out the fire.

Hearts blazing steady because we remembered.

A vow.

Made individually between us and God in prayer closets hundreds of miles apart long before we met. Long before emotions and hormones started skyrocketing. When we were sober and serious about doing life God’s way after years of stumbling in the dark, often falling, with tear streaked faces proving pain.

In a moment alone with the God of all Creation — the One who calls us each by name and knows our end from our beginning — we humbly offered hearts that had failed in the past.

We prayed for grace to honor and obey our Father by remaining sexually pure outside of marriage. Something that neither of us had done in some relationships past.

And us wanting to do everything different this time to please Abba and reap the blessings of obedience.

So we stopped kissing that day in that kitchen all cozy.

We went outside with the old black Lab and sat on the porch swing and waited.

Waited for our friends to return home.

Waited for each other and pleasures that are best savored inside of marriage.

Waited for God and His blessing upon His perfect timing.

And in the words of Elizabeth Elliot, one of my favorite authors, it was unutterably worth the wait!

a kiss is still a kiss

In years gone by I doubted that sexual purity was possible if two people were in love.

And it is — unless those two people love God more than they love themselves or each other.

My Michael and I had tried to maintain boundaries in our past but eventually failed leading to failure in those relationships and so many pieces broken.

We learned the hard way with aching that words can’t even express. Our choice to sin sexually or otherwise, to do things in our own way instead of God’s way, results in awful consequences and I am here to say, JUST DON’T DO IT.

Wait until you are married before having sex.

And if you are unwed and sexually active, repent.

God is always willing to forgive and give grace to start over and stand stronger.

My Michael and I lost so much in our lives by not trusting God and doing things our way. And some of our hurts have been unbelievably hard because we were hard heads who insisted we knew best.

But it is and will forever be Our Father who art in Heaven who knows what is best for us.

So determine in your heart long before you give it to another that you love God best of all.

Pray and often remind yourself of your promise to wait.

Seek out trusted friends or family with whom you can be accountable.

Choose a life’s partner who shares your convictions.

And then when you are on your honeymoon you both can frolic like innocent children in Father’s marital playground unshackled by fears, shame or regret.


Loving freely and freely giving and receiving the sacred gift of sexual love.

For you see, a kiss is still a kiss until it stirs passions that are best left sleeping.

Until the marriage bed…


And here’s one of our favorite courtship songs that we still love listening to.

Heart Cry by Sheila KimballIs someone you know hurting? Or maybe your own heart is breaking? Heart Cry, 40 Reflections for a Woman’s Soul  Purchase your copy today at our Heart Cry eStore.

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Linking with some of the lovely blogs at the bottom of this page  including

Womanhood With Purpose

You're Invited to Party Here!

Teaching What Is Good

And continuing to count the gifts in 2014:

37. Kitchen kisses

38. Quiet time spent in John

39. A BRIGHT sonshiny Monday

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32 thoughts on “Kisses in the kitchen and how not to have sex…

  1. Dear. Sheila
    Oh, your Michael is such a cup cake himself! My oldest son got engaged on Christmas Day and they are planning to get married in April. His fiancé is staying in his house in the meantime and he has moved in with a friend. Sex is the one thing he has promised to God that he will keep holy. Being intimate physical is sort of a picture of spiritual intimacy and therefore so beautiful.
    Blessings XX

    • A wedding in April. How exciting and how wonderful that they are waiting to have sex. It was indeed the BEST wedding gift my Michael and I could give each other and one for which we still thank God. It has only added to the strength and sweetness of our union. Blessings to this new couple and the mother (and dad) of the groom. When in April? And Michael says he’s been called a lot of things in his life, but cupcake is brand new. And I can attest that he is the sweetest man I have ever known and am so blessed to be his. We both smiled about your comment. You are a sweetheart, my friend Mia. Blessings on today with lots of energy and great, good health. xxoo

  2. And you and Michael would not have been able to keep that covenant promise if you hadn’t spelled it out and committed to this purity before that steamy moment, Sheila. I didn’t know to do that when I was young and dating and did so much more. So I had to work through those regrets and shame. I do hope many young couples come by today–I’m praying for that! What an important message and I’m so glad you can tell it with a victorious end, my friend!

  3. What a powerful testimony!!! Thanks so much for sharing this intimate moment and your resolve. I love this story! Thanks for linking up with Marriage Monday today!

  4. “…unless those two people love God more than they love themselves or each other.” Wow, isn’t that the truth, Sheila? Thank you for sharing this part of your story. Something we need to talk about more, don’t you think? Your faithfulness to the vow you took is so inspiring. Powerful story, friend.

    • Thank you, Laura. It took nearly a lifetime to get there but God is so very faithful, even with baby steps of obedience along the way as we battle self to the lowlands so that He can rightly reign on high. God is very good. I pray that sharing this story will help someone stand strong. And truly Michael and I kept the vow together. He is a strong man of faith who inspires me to greater faith.

  5. Too many of us have had to learn the hard way! You have such a beautiful story of purity! Praying your story touches many and encourages others as they live a life seeking purity. Blessings! Love, Rachael

    • Thank you, Rachael.It took wilderness wandering and heart breaking circumstances, though. Thank you for those prayers. My pray is that others reading this will be inspired to do life God’s way early on. Blessings and love to you…

  6. What a lovely post. I am so grateful our God is a God of second chances and of new covenants. Many believe the lie that once you’ve crossed the line it’s to late to go back. But with God it is never to late, I’m grateful for your honesty and encouragement. May many be encouraged to stay strong and when passions begin to warm, may they also find a porch swing and simply wait. Thank you for sharing.

    • You are so welcome, Lori. Yes and Amen! and thank you, dearest Father for second chances. It never is too late to stop and turn back to the High Road and conduct your life — from your heart — in such a way that it honors God.You may still have consequences to bear but God’s grace and love will carry you. I loved your last sentence, Lori…may they also find a porch swing and simple wait…Blessings.

  7. What a wonderful
    post and kisses are my favorite past-time. I love how your covenant together was not
    pushed aside in a moment of passion, but was saved for the marriage bed. What
    an encouragement to others to not allow the excitement of the moment to
    slip into regret. Thank you for sharing with us here at “Tell Me a Story.”

    • Thank you, Hazel. Kisses are one of my favorite pass times, too. 🙂 It took several poor choices before either my Michael or I were ready, willing and able to lay self low so that God in us would reign on high in our hearts. We have the battle scars to prove that sin is crime, but forgiveness sets us free from any prison, and God’s grace and love know no limits. Thank you, Lord. Blessings to you, dear Hazel.

  8. You have written with such touching honesty and inspiring witness in your words, Sheila. You and Michael will inspire others to “love God more than they love themselves or each other” through sharing your wonderful story. Blessings on you both and your life together! 🙂 x

    • Joy…you are so sweet and your words touch my heart. There have been so many dark chapters in my life — both from others’ poor choices and my own sins — that it is my fervent prayer that God use my bad for someone else’s good. Thanks for stopping by. Nice to make your acquaintance. Blessings…

  9. I am so in love with your words here! The celebration of God-created love and intimacy is so often avoided because of the culture’s portrayal of sex.

    • And you know, Katie, after some of the things I have experienced I needed a season of sexual healing in order to get to where God wants us to be…thoroughly enjoying His good gift of sexual love without fear or guilt or shame. He is such a faithful Maker who is my Husband and His love is healing. Thanks for stopping by. Nice to meet you.

  10. Beautiful! Thank you. You are such an inspiration! My hubby and I decided not to kiss until we got married (our first kiss – my first kiss – was on our wedding day) but that didn’t really help us keep ourselves until marriage. I have regrets. So thank you for sharing your story, for remaining true to what God calls us to before marriage.

    • Thanks, Bonnie. Your words are very encouraging! And as for those regrets — and I have mine too — He has forgiven us. Then He chooses to forget. And sometimes I have to admonish myself to STOP thinking about what was lost in the past. We can never change even a moment of what has happened. But here is the good news: with CHRIST all things are made new and we can purpose to learn from our past and make really great choices in our present and future. And that will make God and us smile for years to come…

  11. Beautifully written, Sheila! Thank you for sharing your story, so honestly…both the temptation and the resolve.
    Yes, it may be love that attracts…but it is also love that sets and defends boundaries.

  12. So, I saw the title in the #TellHisStory linky, and OF COURSE, had to come over and see what this was about. Not often do I see “sex” and “kitchen” in the linkup together. 🙂

    In all seriousness, you tackle a topic in a refreshing, delightful and needed way. So grateful for your story and your willingness to share. 🙂

  13. Beautiful Post. Really reminded me of our story (my husband and I). We also had an experience like that “in the kitchen” but we also remembered God promises for our marriage. I´m blessed and humbled to say that by the grace of God who kept us, we came to marriage pure. He being my first “boyfriend” ever and me being the first “girlfriend” ever. I use “” because we never saw each other in a relationship but committed to get married, engaged from the time pray to God to know his will for our future together. We have really enjoyed the blessing of sex IN MARRIAGE. Was definitely worth the long wait 🙂 thanks for sharing your story! blessings!