It was after I had frosted all the cupcakes chocolate, and him stealing two, before we turned in for the night.
Lights were low and he cranked the music loud. First Pablo Cruz and then Toto. And he took me in his arms, singing in my ear until he kissed me.
Right there in the kitchen.
And I silently thanked God.
For this one good man.
Our once-upon-a-dream-yet-grounded-in-reality marriage sweetly shared.
And for sharing life and Jesus as one.
Nuzzled against my husband’s neck I recalled another kitchen kiss, super steamy, just weeks before our July 2011 elopement.
We were home alone for but a brief time in his friend’s old farmhouse where I was staying during a visit.
When he kissed me the wanting started to sizzle.
He kissed me two times more, fanning the flame of desire in us both, and my knees began to wobble.
And then right there in that kitchen with the warm wood cabinets and hearth that had warmed my Michael on many a winter night, we stepped away from each other, putting out the fire.
Hearts blazing steady because we remembered.
Made individually between us and God in prayer closets hundreds of miles apart long before we met. Long before emotions and hormones started skyrocketing. When we were sober and serious about doing life God’s way after years of stumbling in the dark, often falling, with tear streaked faces proving pain.
In a moment alone with the God of all Creation — the One who calls us each by name and knows our end from our beginning — we humbly offered hearts that had failed in the past.
We prayed for grace to honor and obey our Father by remaining sexually pure outside of marriage. Something that neither of us had done in some relationships past.
And us wanting to do everything different this time to please Abba and reap the blessings of obedience.
So we stopped kissing that day in that kitchen all cozy.
We went outside with the old black Lab and sat on the porch swing and waited.
Waited for our friends to return home.
Waited for each other and pleasures that are best savored inside of marriage.
Waited for God and His blessing upon His perfect timing.
And in the words of Elizabeth Elliot, one of my favorite authors, it was unutterably worth the wait!
In years gone by I doubted that sexual purity was possible if two people were in love.
And it is — unless those two people love God more than they love themselves or each other.
My Michael and I had tried to maintain boundaries in our past but eventually failed leading to failure in those relationships and so many pieces broken.
We learned the hard way with aching that words can’t even express. Our choice to sin sexually or otherwise, to do things in our own way instead of God’s way, results in awful consequences and I am here to say, JUST DON’T DO IT.
Wait until you are married before having sex.
And if you are unwed and sexually active, repent.
God is always willing to forgive and give grace to start over and stand stronger.
My Michael and I lost so much in our lives by not trusting God and doing things our way. And some of our hurts have been unbelievably hard because we were hard heads who insisted we knew best.
But it is and will forever be Our Father who art in Heaven who knows what is best for us.
So determine in your heart long before you give it to another that you love God best of all.
Pray and often remind yourself of your promise to wait.
Seek out trusted friends or family with whom you can be accountable.
Choose a life’s partner who shares your convictions.
And then when you are on your honeymoon you both can frolic like innocent children in Father’s marital playground unshackled by fears, shame or regret.
Loving freely and freely giving and receiving the sacred gift of sexual love.
For you see, a kiss is still a kiss until it stirs passions that are best left sleeping.
Until the marriage bed…
And here’s one of our favorite courtship songs that we still love listening to.
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Linking with some of the lovely blogs at the bottom of this page including
And continuing to count the gifts in 2014:
37. Kitchen kisses
38. Quiet time spent in John
39. A BRIGHT sonshiny Monday