Tips for becoming a really great lover – Day 12 First comes Love series

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We think we have the answers about love in and of ourselves.

So we spin crazy looking ever deeper down inside.

Yet the answers we seek are not there. I know. I did that for years. And it cost me. Much!

But when I got off that wickedly spinning merry-go-round and settled my heart in the One who is Love, I was able to look up and out instead of in, and life started growing healthier and better day by day.

For that is the danger of too much self-absorbed introspection. It just gets us more confused. More angry, tired and lonely.

And God’s word, His lovely love letter to us His crazy kids, is the only way to become a truly great lover.

We must align our wills with His word by resting our hearts in His.

Beginning with the gospel of John, we discover who Jesus is. And that helps us learn what love is.

And when we give God our whole heart it opens doors that have long been shut, ushering us into an unknown realm where love is the highest objective.

And where our hearts are, there will be our treasure also.



When our hearts are merely self-focused, the path to the treasure is obscured by a mantle of me me me. And unless we strip bare our hearts, in brutal honesty and openness, we won’t see the sin of self above God crouching at our door.

For self selfishly lies. And self demands attention. And self longs to feel good no matter the cost. And self will step on another’s heart, bringing pain.

All because self wrongly believes it knows the answers.

But God is the only One with all the answers.

And God wants us to be good.

Serving others, denying ourselves, going above and beyond our reasonable service to offer up a sweet and priceless gift of love.

So maybe it’s time to raise a white flag and surrender to Love. And then give up all in the pursuit of loving sacrificially and unconditionally, with utter abandon.

But we can’t truly love another until we first understand how greatly we are loved.

God first loved us. Our bedrock foundation is His love for us and Christ’s death on the cross. All love flows from this.

And then we practice loving one another better, regardless of outcomes. Forgetting momentarily about what the other person we’re involved with may or may not be doing — praying always that God gets hold of their hearts — and us loving well for Love’s great sake.


And us shining forth the light of Love can transform whoever it shines upon.

Live then as children of the light. The light produces in men quite the opposite of sins like these—everything that is wholesome and good and true. Let your lives be living proofs of the things which please God. Steer clear of the activities of darkness; let your lives show by contrast how dreary and futile these things are. (You know the sort of things I mean—to detail their secret doings is really too shameful). For light is capable of “showing up” everything for what it really is. It is even possible (after all, it happened to you!) for light to turn the thing it shines upon into light also.
Ephesians 5: 8-13

Living as children of light means living as children of Love. And love puts God first and then others above self.

And the One Another scriptures in the bible are the perfect tips to show us the Way to becoming great lovers.

And may the prayer of our hearts be to love God with all we are and to love well all those with whom we love and live…


Here’s a sampling of scriptures to help us perfect our loving. And here are even more One Another scriptures.

Above all, love one another deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Colossians 3:12-15

Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
James 5:16

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12: 10-18

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.
Romans 13:8

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Romans 15:7

If you bite and devour one another, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
Galatians 5:15

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
Hebrews 3:13

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds…
Hebrews 10:24

Today’s post is Day 12 of a #31days series called First comes Love…

All the posts in the series can be found here. And so you don’t miss a single one, please subscribe here.

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2 thoughts on “Tips for becoming a really great lover – Day 12 First comes Love series

  1. Dear Sheila
    Oh, this is so true! Until we learn to take our eyes off “self”, I don’t think we will be able to love. Only as we fix our eyes on Jesus, the One who is Love, can He begin to love in and through us.
    Blessings XX