Let go of your mean before you lose everything…


Sometimes we just get all wrapped up in mean.

And the gift that we are can’t be seen until we come unwrapped, all undone.

And that can take a lifetime of days spent fuming and fussing. Making miserable the lives of those who love us and live closely.

So very easy to be mean. So effortless to be evil.

And the Spirit that sustains us with life and love weeps while the enemy of all that is good hurls condemnation at our broken selves.

I know for there have been moments, days and years when I was very mean. Cold to the bone. And so wrapped up in me that I hardly noticed. Or if I did, I really didn’t care.

Depravity at its worst.


There was no listening to anyone who tried to reason with me. God’s word went in one ear and flew right out the other without stopping long enough to make any noticeable difference.

And God waiting through all my mean.

And God loving, for nothing will ever separate us from the God who loves us and longs for us to come to Him.

But God disciplines those He loves. {Praise God! For it is all for our eventual and ultimate good.}

And when my mean finally hit the fan my entire world spun apart, jagged pieces flying in every direction. Darkness covering me until I could barely breathe. And the mean in me showed itself for what it was.

Sin based in hurt that lingered in the hole in my heart that only God can truly fill.


Black hole longing for love while fighting forgiveness.

Deep pit sucking me down until God stooped and picked me up.

Crashing and burning, I lost more than words can ever express. I tore down my house with my own hands and my bad infected those whose little eyes were watching.

We never sin in a vacuum.

When I see others doing what I once did, I wince. Then I pray and release them, knowing that they will continue downward in their foolishness until they hit bottom.

For each heart must come to God on its own in genuine surrender.

But just like God has given us the stories of David or Solomon with all their messes, I share with you my words in the hope that you might recognize yourself and stop.

Because for every moment of mean, you will lose immeasurably more than you can count right now.


So humble before you lose it all and find yourself all alone.

Bow to an all glorious Lord who loves you yet will allow you to learn the hard way if your heart refuses to give up its hard.

Save yourself sadness that will linger long after the sin is forgiven, sprouting up in unexpected moments even though a new crop is producing good fruit in your life.

Please, open your hands that pound with fists of fury and let go of your mean.

Hand yourself over to the only One who can truly heal you.

Hardness and pride make us think we know all the answers, but we don’t know a thing.

We are all like sheep, going astray in stubbornness and stupidity, fears and perversity.

Allowing hurt to hold us hard, we clamor and clash because we don’t get what we want.

Yet what we truly want is to be loved.

Right where we are with all of our ugliness, scars, warts and dirt.

And our hearts can’t stop the wanting to fill the hole that hurts. And the craziness can leach out as so much meanness. And our sin hurts God and those we love and sometimes they leave because we have hurt them too much.

When what we really want is to know that there is Someone who loves us no matter what.

And that Someone’s love for us is relentless, pursuing us till we give in and reach out our withering hand all gnarled with sin, and wounds that fester from long ago hurts.

So that we might be healed.

And we’ll understand that we have great worth just because He loves us even if somewhere deep inside we believe we don’t matter.

KNIGHTBut we’ve got to give up the fight first and surrender. And tell Him and others how very sorry we are.

We’ve got to abdicate the throne of our own making and let Jesus reign rightly in our hearts.

Going lower in humility, lifting Him higher and higher.

Forgetting about loving only our self and giving out love overflowing to those we are hurting with our selfishness.

But the only way to win is through Jesus Christ.

And by really knowing Him like we’ve never known Him. {Even if we’ve pasted on Sunday morning smiles our whole life.}

By reading the Gospels, beginning with John, every day until we understand that Jesus is the representation of the God who loves us like crazy.

And we’ll finally know that God is not like the dad who beat us or raped us, or the mom that screamed at us or neglected us, or the priest who sexually abused us or the spouse who cheated on us, or our parents who divorced when all we wanted was the security of their love, leaving us all broken.


God is love and God will stand by us and God is good.

And Love will replace our mean.

Walls will crumble and hearts will soften as we learn to love better and better. And being good for Goodness sake will bring  us joy and serenity.

For there is nothing on earth better than love.

And nothing cures us the way love can.

It is the most powerful force in the universe.

Christ calls to your heart in countless ways if only you will listen. Cease squandering the precious days He gives as you do things your way, thinking you’re the boss.

Raise the white flag and let Him rescue you.


And when you do, the love you have been hurting for your whole life will meet you where you are, no questions asked.

One day at a time you will recover if you keep holding His hand. And the sin that ruled your heart will suffocate from love poured over thick.

Until soon you will not only know He loves you, but you will feel it deep down in your bones. And His love in your heart will cover over your sins and your messes, giving you another chance at life and love.

So why not love? First God, then others.

Not as just a feeling but as a choice sometimes hard.

Not so much a noun but new actions that can be learned by reading His word of truth.

Choose love now, in this very moment!

Tomorrow may be too late…


The 13th Chapter of First Corinthians tells us that without love, we have nothing, nor will anything we ever accomplish be worth anything at all. This is well worth reading over and over…

If I speak with the eloquence of men and of angels, but have no love, I become no more than blaring brass or crashing cymbal. If I have the gift of foretelling the future and hold in my mind not only all human knowledge but the very secrets of God, and if I also have that absolute faith which can move mountains, but have no love, I amount to nothing at all. If I dispose of all that I possess, yes, even if I give my own body to be burned, but have no love, I achieve precisely nothing.

This love of which I speak is slow to lose patience—it looks for a way of being constructive. It is not possessive: it is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance.

Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage. It is not touchy. It does not keep account of evil or gloat over the wickedness of other people. On the contrary, it is glad with all good men when truth prevails.

Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. It is, in fact, the one thing that still stands when all else has fallen.

For if there are prophecies they will be fulfilled and done with, if there are “tongues” the need for them will disappear, if there is knowledge it will be swallowed up in truth. For our knowledge is always incomplete and our prophecy is always incomplete, and when the complete comes, that is the end of the incomplete.

When I was a little child I talked and felt and thought like a little child. Now that I am a man my childish speech and feeling and thought have no further significance for me.

At present we are men looking at puzzling reflections in a mirror. The time will come when we shall see reality whole and face to face! At present all I know is a little fraction of the truth, but the time will come when I shall know it as fully as God now knows me!

In this life we have three great lasting qualities—faith, hope and love. But the greatest of them is love.


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23 thoughts on “Let go of your mean before you lose everything…

  1. Dear Sheila
    Today, my dear friend, I need your prayers! I have been battling severe bladder infection for 2,5 weeks and then the influenza came ti visit with al its nasties for the second week now. Please caryy me with prayer and my dear family as well.
    Love to you Michael, dear friend. Please tell him, your blogging friends think he is so special!
    Blessings XX

    • Sweet Mia…Michael and I read your comment before we got out of bed this morning and immediately prayed for you. I am truly so sorry your health is negatively impacted and you are fighting much. May the blood of Jesus cleanse away those nasties and restore you to great good health. Will continue holding you in prayer. If you were on our side of the world I would bring you homemade chicken soup with lots of fresh garlic. Love to you, my sister friend. PS Michael was humbled by your sweet comment and says thanks, along with letting you know we are both in prayer for you! xxxooo

  2. For sure, Sheila, when our mean ‘hits the fan,’ our stuff flies further than we imagined, impacting souls we might not ever have met. Praise God for His redemption … He replaces our tainted souls with the oh-so-sweet fruit of His Spirit!

  3. “And love will replace our mean.” Amen to that, sister! I’ve been all sorts of “mean” in my life, Sheila and your words ring so true. When I made my life about me and my hurts, I wasted away. But when learned to love, really love, the Father, it poured forth on to everyone else in my life in transforming ways. Beautiful words here, my friend. You wield a pen (or keyboard) like an artist’s brush.

    • Thank you, my dear Beth. Your words always brighten my day. I am so glad we have met!! And it is in the learning to love real good that our life, and the lives of those around us, changes in oh so very good ways. Thanks for your comment…

  4. Sheila, It sure is easy to spread our mean around and infect our world? It quickly tears it apart if we are not careful. Been here. This is a wonderful post; I hope many will see themselves in this and make a U-turn. Blessings and thanks for stopping by my place.

  5. I use to be a pretty mean and callous person but after my first child was born I would pray at night for God to make me a nice person, a kind person. It took years and I am not saying I am never mean-spirited but I can say because of God’s deliverance and faithfulness that I am nothing like I use to be. God is so good and faithful and He’s still working on me 🙂

    • Ms. Kathleen…me too! A work in progress that has progressed greatly because of God’s grace. And praying to be good and nice pleases our Abba’s heart. May God continue working in both of us…making us more beautiful in His sight day by day. Thanks very much for sharing. Blessings…

  6. A while ago I read Marcus Buckingham’s book, The One Thing You Need to Know. He worked for the Gallup organization and based on research he concluded that the ONE THING, above all else, that makes for a happily married, life long couple is this: “Find the most generous explanation for each other’s behavior and believe it.” Doing so is a choice. That is what love looks like in a marriage. Simple, elegant advice that flies in the face of meanness. Nice post. Thanks for sharing!

  7. So encouraging, friend. Thank you for linking with #TellHisStory. I just had a long conversation with a dear friend who was mistreated by some “mean girls” even though they are adult women. I wish I could send this point to them. My heart breaks for my friend.

    • You’re welcome, Jennifer. And I am sorry for your friend’s suffering and hope the situation will improve. An opportunity to pray for her, and for the “meanies.” And for your heart, too. Thanks for stopping over. Blessings of peace to you both…

    • You are very welcome. And I hope that those who are stuck in “mean” will read these words lived and see themselves, fall on their knees and cry out to God who means for them to truly live in Him. Blessings and thanks for stopping by…

  8. This is a wonderful post! It speaks so much of my life from 18-25. Thank you so much for sharing at Wisdom Wednesday last week! This was one of the top 3 clicked posts, and I will share it on FB and Twitter later today. I hope you’ll swing by and link up again today! Blessings!