Rewind: Reflections of a transitioning heart…Part 2

LAKE TACONIC IS A GREAT BEACH.

It was one of those days when all the cosmic tumblers click into place and every moment unfolds as a miracle in the making.

Moments where life and love seem to spill over one another in a joyous and sacred procession.

Walking through a gift of grace so fragile that a puff of wind could blow it all away.

And I keep saying, Thank you…

Over and over throughout that morning, noon and night teeming with tenderness and laughter, oozing with love dear and precious. Perhaps more so because the wait for it through mistakes, sin and darkness was a million messy years.

But God, He knows what He is doing and His timing is always perfect.

So I hold tight to the Maker of time and all things, while holding tight to the one with whom I am one.

And a simple day at the lake, an annual escape, transformed before our eyes into a holy gift, pure and light.

Lake Taconic

Minutes ticked slow and we slowed way down so that we could savor each one and each other.

PADDLE BOATS LAKE TACONIC

Strolling the length of the lake we spied paddle boats waiting for strong, sun tanned legs.

CABIN

And little chocolate cabins, with sections near the camp grounds paved making our feet hop, skip and jump because it was that hot.

dragonflies

And dragonflies dancing before nearly disappearing among leaves as green as rows of summer corn.

August warmed my skin brown and the Son warmed my heart blood red, and the love shared seemed like it would burst right out spilling over everything in its wake.

A giant wave of grace. And us floating.

LAKE Michael - Copy

Water wasn’t as frigid as last summer so we swam and played for hours: Lincoln Logs and splashing, and me trying to race but still not finishing first! Laughing our heads off.

And it wasn’t until we shook the sand from the blanket and packed up the cooler that my Michael asked.

“Are you missing them?”

AT THE LAKE - Copy

Those three boys of summer. Gifts from God who will forever hold my mother’s heart.

Lake holding memories of special moments shared, me and them.

And just as my Michael and me are leaving the sand, three little beach chairs all in a row.

Empty.

BEACH CHAIRS 3 - Copy

And for a fraction of a split second I was back in the baby days when my boys were little although I hadn’t thought about my three all day, not since praying for them that morning.

Then just as quickly back again. Standing next to my man. Rightful place for this season.

Thanking God for this gift I never thought He would grant. Not after some of my choices.

But God’s love covers a multitude of sins, with grace amazing.

And my heart all married to the one who is my life after the One who is my all.

What a difference a year has made in my empty nest mother’s heart.

Loving the Lord most of all and a strong will to walk forward in the preciousness of now has moved me beyond what was. And in spite of what was being missed. Moments of missing rarer than two years ago when the nest began to empty.

And I realize I am different.

Passage of time and living with the love of my life has changed me. Lord’s healing.

Coming under my Michael’s love and leadership, protection and provision ushers me into life far beyond the backyard fence of my dearest dreams and romantic longings during the years of lonely.

It has softened me, while strengthening me.

I am no longer that six-weeks-remarried single mom who burst into tears for hours that day the first of my chicks flew away. {To Hawaii! WITHOUT a cell phone!!} And I needed an extra bowlful of gravy and the comfort of mashed potatoes just to make it through the weeping.

I am not the empty nest mama who walked down hallowed hallways, greeted by memories of little legs running and socked feet sliding on hard woods. Reaching out for boys whose every step took them farther from home but never far away in heart.

DAN CAR 4 - Copy

I am not the mom on that day my last one, my baby boy, trekked two thirds across these states united to live in closer unity with his brother-best friends. Even though a part of me went with him as his tail lights disappeared down our road.

I am none of these women, and yet I am all of them at the same time.

Like steaming spaghetti piled high and overflowing, every strand of memory, every wisp of wonder touching the next, mingling together with grace, flavored with love.

And the arms of Jesus hold me as my Michael draws me to himself, sun warmed skin pressing close. And the beating of mine echoes his.

Then we’re off for the next leg of adventure. Two crazy kids, madly in love, making memories exclusively ours.

A favorite little village discovered last year.

Savoring pizza and truffles sweet, sunflowers and steeples.

PIZZA

CANDY COUNTER

SUNFLOWER FENCE

CHURCH

STORE

So we breathe deep to breathe it all in.

Glad and giddy with the gift of now. Him and me. And me and him. And one plus one equaling so much more than two.

Love, laughter, sunshine — all warm like honey from the comb.

And no need to comb through the attic of memory when there is so much life living in each moment of now.

Gift of glory is in the present. If we keep looking back we just might miss what’s right before us.

Holding on as every blessed moment slips away, as moments do, and sun slipping below heaven’s horizon.

And the day full of fun and friendship is full upon us with wanting warm, embrace binding.

Lord’s lullaby for lovers wed, wedding spent selves with sleep.

And sweet dreams beginning…

~sheila

 

Join me next Thursday as I conclude the Rewind series with a post on tips for transitioning to an empty nest.

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11 thoughts on “Rewind: Reflections of a transitioning heart…Part 2

  1. Dear Sheila
    Oh, this is so hard for a mother; letting her sons go!! I read the other day that we should love our children in such a way as to prepare them to leave us; then we love them good!! Then we can know they will always come back.
    Love you XX
    Mia

    • It certainly is. But as I have found, with time and God’s help and the determination to flow in God’s will for the new season upon us, our hearts can successfully transition and find the joy in our new “now.” Thanks, Mia 🙂

  2. Sheila, what a wonderful post. Brought tears to my eyes of joy, sadness, longing, and love! I absolutely loved it. Thank you for sharing! Love, Kimmi

  3. Beautiful post and photos. We never stay still with Jesus. Yet as we journey forward with Him He doesn’t remove our sadnesses, pains and sorrows – He redeems them. They stay a part of us but we are better through the transforming power of Christ.

    Thanks for linking up at Essential Fridays.

    Blessings

    Mel from Essential Thing Devotions.