A single Saturday…or how He holds a woman’s heart through the seasons…

Pretty petunias in summer

Enjoying your deck in the summer

GERANIUMS

SUN (2)

It’s just me at home this Saturday.

My Michael is out for most of the day and I am home with Jesus who is with me always.

I take a break from my to-do list and sit on the deck letting the sun’s rays relax the stress away.

And the lushness of summer in full bloom is lovely all around me. I drink in delight, thankful for the gift of beauty He gives me right outside the French doors.

I breath deep and let go.

And this is a summer of leavings. Three of my dearest girlfriends have relocated, all hours away. First Marie, then Cindy and finally Georgette.

We will be leaving our home, my Michael and me, very likely by the end of summer, as a bid has been offered.

My son is leaving today, too.

He and his wife fly back to Utah tonight. Giving and receiving farewell hugs and tender I love you’s tug my mother’s heart.

In the last two years all my boys left home. I run my finger over a small slip of paper that has hung in my kitchen cupboard all these years. The one Matt scratched with simple words of love and a silly picture. And the empty nest aches, uncomfortably different from the fullness of the baby days when there was barely enough time to catch my breath.

love notes from a child

MATT TIFF

Michael stops home during his busy day — perfectly choreographed, thank you Lord, to coincide with Matt and Tiff’s unscheduled arrival from their dad’s — and gives hugs to them and a kiss to me as he heads back out.

I wave from the steps, close the door behind me and slide my favorite James Taylor CD into place, hitting play.

And I let go some more.

In the stillness today my mind returns to a Saturday years ago when I was divorced and my boys were with their dad for the weekend. My plans with friends had fallen through at the last minute.

It was another beautiful summer’s day and I started my “day off” with a long prayer walk at a nature preserve in a neighboring town. Then I picked up something special to eat for dinner later on and came home and read a bunch of magazines on the deck all afternoon. My single mom self relishing the R&R.

And in the solitary singleness of those years, those  long and sometimes desperately lonely years, my woman’s heart fell more deeply in love with Jesus Christ. He was {and is} my best friend forever, a faithful partner, the lover of my soul.

Though I was alone, I wasn’t.

He was there with me, listening to the murmurings of my heart. His word echoing through the emptiness how much He loves me. Wiping tears away time after time.

And dear woman reading this now, He is there for you, too, whatever the season of your life.

LOVE HOME

The treats I had purchased that afternoon years ago became the makings of a special Saturday night date with my Lord.

I set two places, making the table really pretty.

I lit the candles.

I wore my little black dress.

James Taylor played softly in the background.

And at the stroke of eight, as well as every moment of every day, He was there with me.

My beautiful Lord.

We dined together that night {although He didn’t eat a bite!} and I felt him gazing into the depths of my single woman’s soul. Enraptured by His love, He made me feel beautiful. No longer abandoned and forsaken, He made me feel wanted.

His healing grace penetrating my broken heart.

Slipping between the sheets, I felt wrapped in His love, protected by His presence. An ever present gift.

And He, with me always, sent sweet dreams that keep coming true

~sheila

 

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