How the hardscrabble road of marriage leads to the Promised Land…


Like a knife to the heart, consequences can cut quick.

Combined and cumulative, what’s yours is his and what’s his is yours and two hearts are better than one as you bear up under the strain.

Yet the past lurks in the shadows, waiting to jump out and trip you up, and bad seeds from bad choices planted years ago continue to spawn a bad harvest.

In a marriage, dealing with the hard stuff that results from our past is not fun, yet it is always fruitful if we set our hearts due north.

Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6:33

So my Michael and me keep locking hearts and looking to Him who brought us together two years ago. And we trust that no matter how twisty and turny our path becomes, we will make it to the Promised Land by holding fast to each other and both of us to Him.

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:12

And the way out lies through the thorns when the road is dark beyond the next step, and we get scratched and scraped along the way. And the bleeding and crying is just part and parcel of Father’s home school curriculum as He grows us up to look like our Elder Brother.

Growing pains are painful, but it is all good, eventually, even though it appears anything but at the moment. All things are used by Him for good. Always.

Father is faithful, never stretching us beyond what we can bear. He knows where we are going and by what route we must travel if His purpose in us is to be fulfilled.

And when we weary from our travels He calls us to sit by the side of the road and rest, waiting and holding on to hope that can only be found in Him. And mercy and goodness, our soul guards and companions, are never more than a step behind us, following us on this journey.

He makes us lie down in green pastures;
He leads us beside quiet waters.
He restores our soul;
He guides us in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
Psalm 23: 2-3

And His word is a light unto our path so we keep turning the pages of the ancient text and the Ancient of Days keeps bringing to light something new, those great and unsearchable truths that we can only find as we plumb the depths of scripture.

So Jesus was saying, “If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”
John 8:31-32

Our Lord’s word is our Lord and as we embrace it, we embrace Him.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
John 1:1

And as I hold my bible in my lap, it is like Jesus is sitting right there only it is He who scoops me gently into His lap, and my Michael, too, so we are safe, cared for, protected and encouraged to keep on growing and keep on going, one day at a time, two as one in One.

HANDS - Copy

Oneness is marital mystery uncloaked moment by moment as we choose to be naked and unashamed, one in flesh and one in spirit and soul.

And the two shall become one flesh so they are no longer two, but one flesh.
Mark 10:8

When we are one with His word we are one with Him and each other and the words of His word are a love song.

The notes of the song float on the wings of the wind, calling to us longingly, brushing past our eyes and our ears. Only when it reaches our hearts, can the revelation in marriage compose a tender tune, a truly lovely harmony.

Christ in us in marriage is His word made flesh.

And mates manifest oneness more readily when they couple with Him. And He cups the couple to His heart, never once letting go. God who is the giver of good gifts, gives glimpses beyond the veil that sometimes sparkle and sometimes slay, yet we travel on in trust. Walking in the light of His love.

But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13: 13

LOVE cursive (2)

And love, like marriage and other relationships, is hard.

To be perfected, it must be practiced without fear in a daily surrender, a giving up of oneself for the greater good of laying down our life for the other. And the pages of 1 Corinthians 13 get worn for the reading while encouraging us when we get worn out.

For marriage is not for the faint of heart, especially when we wander on the road. Spinning circles, seemingly getting nowhere, until we look up at the pillar of cloud by day and the fire by night blazing in our hearts.

And we burn with zeal for Him who called us and saved us and heals us, and our love for each other catches a new flame.

Leading us on until we arrive safely home…


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8 thoughts on “How the hardscrabble road of marriage leads to the Promised Land…

  1. I’m so glad you reminded us that God is stretching us and “growing us up” through the pain and struggles we face in life. And I love how you’ve weaved God’s love and presence with us all throughout this. We forget that sometimes–His nearness and constant care. Thanks for this beautiful and encouraging post, Shelia. Much wisdom is found here, my friend!

  2. Good message, so many encouraging words, so much wisdom. Thanks for sharing!

    I’ve learned so much about God through my marriage and vice versa.

    • Oh, my, yes! Marriage is a crucible that teaches us daily. And it is a place of healing, or should be. For we can only heal relationally within the context of relationship. Sometimes the lessons are hard to swallow, but there is such joy as well in the ever-more-becoming one. Thanks, TC.

  3. “To be perfected, it must be practiced without fear in a daily surrender, a giving up of oneself for the greater good of laying down our life for the other.” It takes commitment but man o’ man is it worth it!