Resolve to live life in God’s will…{New Year’s BREAKOUT series, Part 5}

THIN ICE Copyright 2013 Sheila KimballI have struggled and I have wrestled.

Wrestled with His will.

Both knowing and choosing to follow His will.

And in struggling, I can get stuck, moving neither forward nor back. Frozen…

Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.
Ephesians 5:17

He wills that I learn to love Him and others well.

A tall order taking a lifetime to master. A lesson that requires us to go lower and lower. Exactly the opposite of what our prideful sin nature would have us do!

He longs for me to live a life that brings Him glory.

Subjugating self and letting Him sit on the throne of my heart, He wants me to obey His Word. And leave behind my own willfulness, so strong and single-minded.

He wills that I forgive and forget, walk humbly and trust in Him.

With all my heart, forsaking my own understanding which is often clouded with fear and doubt, and letting faith rise in me so that I can do that which is impossible without Him.

This is what He calls each of us to. Especially those that call upon His name and say that we are His. It is our purpose to make Him smile. Some days we succeed more than others, and some days, unfortunately we fail miserably.

I truly want to follow hard after Him and hear the words, “Well done, Daughter.”

You, too?

And my life with Christ this past quarter century has been a series of ups and downs and turn-arounds, many times because of my poor choices based in my own will, but always winding up bringing me closer to Him and with a faith built stronger so that it is better able to withstand future tests. By His grace alone!

Resolving to live life in God’s will, I believe, is all a matter of the heart.

But when a heart gets hard, either through the deceitfulness of its own sin, or due to bitterness and unforgiveness regarding something done to it {or the perception that something was done}, it gets all the harder to follow.

If I let it! Everything is a result of my choices.

And my journey with Him has varied greatly because of my heart. Sometimes it’s so easy to follow His will and do what He wants. With joy!

Other times I grumble and complain in my heart while outwardly being obedient.

And still other times, I have chosen to flagrantly disrespect the Lord of all the universe by just saying No!

No to His will.

No to His way.

No to His Word.

Ultimately, my self-love choices have taken me into No Man’s Land. I shake my head in sadness and disbelief when I recount where I have been and some of the things I have done. All because I refused to lay down my own will for His.

For shame, and pity’s sake!

And I long for Mary’s heart.

“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.”
Luke 1:38

Thankfully His mercies are new every morning.

And in this there is hope.

With sun streaming into our “yoga room” today, {a son’s former bedroom where I often go for quiet time, and where the two of us do hot yoga together} my heart, though weighed down a bit by circumstances surrounding following His unique will for us, thanks Him for all He is, and all He does for us.

And I ask myself do I trust Him enough to follow His will no matter what? To be obedient and follow Him to the end of my days and to the ends of the earth if need be?

For whoever is bent on saving his [temporal] life [his comfort and security here] shall lose it [eternal life]; and whoever loses his life [his comfort and security here] for My sake shall find it [life everlasting].
Matthew 16:25 Amplified Bible

Am I brave enough to lay down my life for the sake of His will?

I like to think I am, but then He calls me to do something that is uncomfortable and difficult, or doesn’t turn out the way I planned or takes too long and I lose heart as I whine or worse.

Where is my heart on days like that?

My heart gets lost in the land of little faith.

HEART of FAITH Copyright 2013 Sheila KimballSo I dig down deeper into God’s word, and ask the Holy Spirit to set my heart right so that I might follow Him rightly.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me. Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.
Psalm 51:10-12

And God is faithful, even when I fail Him. Thank you, Jesus.

While we roam this earth as alien creatures in a foreign land, I think we will from time to time struggle with God’s will, both common and unique. May God help us to BREAKOUT of the self-love and self-will that hides our hearts in shadows.

HEART in SHADOWS Copyright 2013 Sheila KimballAnd when all is said and done, it comes down to who we truly love more.

Him or self…

~sheila

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2 thoughts on “Resolve to live life in God’s will…{New Year’s BREAKOUT series, Part 5}

  1. Powerful words Sheila. I love the journey you take us on here. We all inhabit the “land of little faith” sometimes, but it’s how we pull ourselves out of it that matters. Thanks for reminding us to find our rest and wisdom in the Holy Spirit and the Word, which takes our hearts out of those shadows of doubt.
    Love and prayers for you as you seek His heart and will each day,
    Ali

    • Thanks so much, Ali. Love and prayers right back at you! God is good and so faithful all the time, especially when we err or are frightened and like a loving Daddy He knows just what we need to get us back walking in line with His will. LOVE HIM SO MUCH!