Releasing so you can start living again…{or what to do once it’s over}

Feels like you can hardly breathe. Your heart squeezing painful hard.

So you try to keep busy and not think about the break up. But then a wave of missing him or her washes over you, knocking you off your feet and leaving you gasping. Next breath caught somewhere between your solar plexus and esophagus.

And you just can’t believe it’s really over.

Especially since this time you thought it was for keeps.

This was the one person in all the world that you wholeheartedly believed you would wake up with every single morning for the rest of your days.

But it is over.

And sometimes what looked good is hardly God’s best for you after all.

Especially when it may have begun in ways that are less than God honoring. Half-hearted attempts at filling the empty heart spaces inside that are reserved for God alone.

And until we can acknowledge our need for love in human form — but be content to patiently wait while learning our lessons well until the One who loves us best of all determines that we are ready for a true, lasting relationship — we just may go round in circles with one heartbreak after another.

Taking the long way, like I did, to the High Road where trust and faith directs our path. The place where our hearts will finally find utter abandon in Christ alone as they rejoice in what God has done with no regrets looking back.

Right now, though, you seem to have a hard time letting go. Even after years may have gone by you cannot get beyond wanting what you wanted.

So you leave the pieces of your broken heart on the floor and you crumble into a heap right next to that pile and cry your eyes out.

And for a season, when a break up is fresh and your heart is raw, this is all we can do. All we need to do.

Maybe you are angry as blazes, demanding like Shylock a pound of flesh from the one who is no longer yours?

Making misery loves company your mantra and believing that your actions will accomplish what you strive for?

But they won’t.

While crying, being angry, talking about it discreetly with your friends {and getting professional help and support if you are really stuck} are part of the healing process, at some point you must choose to forgive.

And instead of harboring hurt and maybe even hatred, let go in love.

The good man {or woman} brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:45

And when you finally let go, you open yourself to the wonderful possibilities that God has waiting for you.

For until you release your grip and let go of the dead carcass of a relationship that wasn’t really meant to be, God will not give you what He has for you, that person your true heart most desires.

Once fully awake, with reality knocking loudly, you will open the next door to find blessings unlike anything you have experienced before.

Not only better than before, but BEST for you!

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

So what do you do when it’s time to kiss goodbye those phantom memories and move on with life? 

* Ask God to forgive you for any sinful choices that got you where you are today. Receive it and forgive yourself, too.

Test me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth. Psalm 26:2-3

*Choose to forgive the person with whom you were once in relationship.

But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

* Give God your whole heart.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33

* Just trust. In Him!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

* Serve others. As you get busy helping others, you will have less time to feel sorry for yourself.

And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me. Matthew 25:40

* Make up your mind to move forward.

For as a man {or woman} thinketh in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7

* Choose to forget. Flashbacks will come when a song or a location triggers a memory. But only you can choose what you will ponder over. {And it’s also helpful to get rid of any remaining love letters, cards or mementos from your ex.}

Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
Isaiah 43:18-19

*Joy in Him!

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:3-4

* Receive peace…

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3

So, walk out of your past, pack away the memories and move on with your head held high and your eyes looking up to Him.

One day soon you’ll pull back the curtains and open a window and a fresh, sweet wind filled with promise will sweep through.

A cleansing breath full of new possibilities and of better things yet to come…

~sheila

 

 

 

 

 

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